Coming Off Patent Comic Strips - Page 3

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725 Results for Coming Off Patent

View 21 - 30 results for coming off patent comic strips. Discover the best "Coming Off Patent" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer, #patent

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Add my name to your patent application to acknowledge my contribution." Dilbert asks, "What contribution?" Dilbert says, "You said it was a stupid idea by a stupid employee. You ordered me to stop working on it." The Boss says, "Devil's advocate!" Dilbert adds, "You also said I was ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #patent, #co workers

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Alice asks, "Dilbert, would you add my name to your patent application?" Dilbert asks, "Why should I?" Alice replies, "I would consider upgrading your status from 'co-worker' to 'friend I never see outside of work.'" Dilbert asks, "Would we eat lunch together?" Alice replies, "No, but I'll pencil you in and cancel at the last minute."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #patent, #budget, #raise

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu the monkey, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "I can't decide which one of you to lay off, so I've decided to have a contest." The Boss says, "The first event is the 'staple chase.'" Dilbert has been stapled to a bulletin board. The Boss says, "Round one: Zimbu." Dilbert says, "I think I winged him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bank off head, #coach, #field, #game, #glasses, #goal, #soccer, #strike, #team players, #Sports

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Player man: dilbert, you'll be playing the left striker position. Player man: one of our good players will try to strike tony in th head with the ball and bank it in the goal, LIZ: "It" being the ball not your head. Dilbert: Id better take off y glasses. LIZ: No, don't, I included their dampening effect in my calculations.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cat, #not optimist, #phrased better, #rakberts head, #stomp on it, #yank off, #bob the dinosaur, #rat, #dog, #animals

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"Bob, I'll yank the cat off of Ratbert's head and you stomp on it!" "Yank" "Stomp" "I could have phrased that better." "I'm not an optimist anymore."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #iso 9000 project, #hand picked, #manger, #project

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Dilbert sits at a desk and says, "Thank you for coming to the 'ISO 9000' project kick-off meeting." Dilbert continues, "Each of you was hand-picked by your manager for this project because . . ." Dilbert faces a table of strange people and says, "Well . . . never mind why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #black outs, #lights, #motion detectors, #hired a temp, #walk around, #go off, #another journalism major, #waste, #fan us

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #never time lunch, #men are early, #upgrading pcs, #paid off, #effieciency, #hungry, #secrets

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."