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View 21 - 30 results for cover comic strips. Discover the best "Cover" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, ". . . As you approached the speed of light you would become infinitely dense." Dogbert asks, "Then would you be forced to take a job as a high school gym teacher?" Dilbert replies, "The book changes subjects at this point." Dogbert says, "Sounds like a cover-up."
Alice, Dilbert, Wally and an Elbonian sit around a conference table. The Elbonian hands a coffee cup to Alice who says, "In this country we have a custom when men ask women to fetch coffee." Alice continues, "Stand up . . . That's it . . . Now this will really surprise you." Dilbert and Wally cover their eyes and Wally says, "Oh God." A hat with feet sticking out of it sits on the chair where the Elbonian was sitting. Wally says, "I've never seen anybody get kicked into his hat before." Dilbert says, "That's gotta hurt."
Catbert and the Boss stand on either side of a hole in the floor. Catbert says, "As Director of Human Resources I have developed a policy for handling the employees who complain." Catbert continues, "It's a big hole. I'll trick the whiners into getting in it. And then I'll cover them with sand." The Boss says, "I don't see how this could possibly work." Catbert says, "There's a detailed explanation at the bottom of the hole."
The caption says, "Headquarters." Three executives sit at a conference table. One says to the man next to him, "Hey, Chuck's looking unhappy today. What's the problem, big guy?" Chuck says, "All of my bad decisions are catching up to me. Could we do another reorg to cover my tracks?" The third executive says, "Yeah, I've got some bodies to bury, too." Back at the office, the Boss reads a document aloud to Dilbert and Wally, ". . . These changes will allow us to focus on our core business." Wally walks away saying, "Whoa! Let me get my reorg boots."
Dilbert watches as Wally sits in his chair and bends over to reach his keyboard on the floor. Wally says, "This new policy of keeping our keyboards on the floor is ridiculous!" Dilbert says, "The only possible explanation is to make us all stooped over so it's easier for management to kick our behinds! Ha ha ha!" Wally laughs. As the Boss peeks into Wally's cubicle, Dilbert looks shocked and says, "Wait a minute . . . That IS the only explanation." Wally says, "Cover me; I'm going to the printer."
Dilbert says, "Come help me hook up my new VCR, Dogbert." Dilbert kneels next to the television and says, "You read the instructions and I'll connect the cables." Dogbert reads, "'Connect the 300 Ohm twin-lead flat cable to the 75 Ohm RF2 jack.'" Dilbert looks confused. Dogbert continues to read, "'Or use the optional 75 Ohm co-axial cable with the F type connector.'" Dilbert thinks, "Good Lord, I'm an electrical engineer and I don't understand any of this." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to lie to the other engineers and say I don't WANT to record tv shows." Dogbert reads, "'Now, strip naked, cover your body with motor oil and run through town yelling walla-walla-walla.'" Dilbert says, "Let me see that." Dogbert reads, "'Step six: Do not doubt the nice dog.'"
Dilbert holds an issue of Playgirl featuring Dogbert on the cover. Dogbert wears black dress socks and nothing else, except his silly putty beauty tumor. Dilbert says, "How does it feel to be a sex symbol?" Dogbert says, "Good." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch wagging his tail and says, "I realized that what's inside a person doesn't count because no one can see it." Dilbert says, "I didn't realize you were such a philosopher." Dogbert says, "That's my point!"
Tina the tech writer points to an open magazine on the table and says, "This article says men are paid 25% more than women. How do you explain that?" Dilbert and Wally stare. Wally picks up the magazine. The cover features a woman and the title "Estro." Wally says, "Actually, it says women make 75} for every dollar that men make. That's 33% more for men." Tina crosses her arms and frowns. Wally says, "I suppose there's almost no chance you'll praise me for my math skills right now."
Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"