Cyber Threat Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for cyber threat comic strips. Discover the best "Cyber Threat" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #magnetism, #domesticated, #creatures

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The caption says, "To the ancients it was known as the 'Time of Degauss.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The caption says, "Every thousand years, the animal magnetism of domesticated creatures reverses." Dogbert's ears fly up. The caption says, "The result can be catastrophic . . ." Silverware flies out of a drawer and the toaster flies off the shelf. The caption says, ". . . Or dogastrophic." Dogbert runs away from the flying metal objects that are attracted by his magnetism. Dogbert runs through Dilbert's legs. The caption says, "Soon the field stabilizes, and the threat is forgotten." The silverware pins Dilbert to the wall. Dogbert says, "That reminds me - what's for supper tonight?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #worked all night, #vital, #meeting, #excellent work, #alice, #backup material, #performance review cycle, #naked body threat to boss, #cheap suit, #fling, #business, #science

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Alice says to the Boss, "Here's the analysis you asked for . . . I worked all night." Alice continues, "But you said this was vital for your meeting today so I know it was worth the effort." The Boss sits at his desk reading the report. He says, "This is excellent work, Alice." Alice closes her eyes and thinks, "A rare compliment; it was all worthwhile." As Alice walks away the Boss says, "I'll use it as backup material." Alice says angrily, "Backup?!! Nobody looks at backup material!" Alice says, "I'm going to grab your pointy hair, yank you out of that cheap suit and fling your naked body down the hall." The Boss lies in the hall with no clothes on. Wally says, "She's always irritable the week before her performance review cycle." Dilbert says, "Her distance improved this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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My space defense shield detects an incoming threat. I am launching intercept rockets. "Apparently the boys at Google used a death ray to blast the international space station out of orbit and toward our house." "Why do you have a space defense shield?" "Doesn't that seem like a stupid question now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, too many people are asking me for things. How can I set priorities?" "Wait until everyone is yelling at you and then help whoever makes the scariest threat on any given day." "Is that what you do?" "No, I tell people to go ask you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #complaints, #private office, #threat, #technology

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Alice : Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it. The Boss: "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved. Alice: I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok: Gaaa!!! Dilbert: Spare the glasses.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #working, #talking, #telephone, #threat

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Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, "Please listen while I read this threatening script." Dilbert says, "I have hidden poisonous spiders in your home. If you pay us now by credit card I will give you the antidote." Dilbert says, "Okay, fine" Dilbert says, "But if you feel a tickle on your leg, give me a call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #fear, #policies, #evil, #cruel

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Catbert says, "The employees are scared shirtless about losing their jobs." Catbert says, "This is a good time to cut their benefits and roll out some Draconian corporate policies." Dilbert says, "'In the event of a bomb threat, the employees are expected to shield the servers with their bodies.'" Wally says, "I miss my shirt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared

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Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #raising, #hands, #cruel, #threat, #business

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Ratbert: VP of sales Ratbert says, "I'm accompanying Humphrey on this sales call so he can learn from the master." Ratbert says, "I'll begin by giving you something, thus triggering your need to reciprocate." Ratbert says, "Who wants to hit Humphrey with a shovel?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #threat, #violence, #meeting, #sales quota, #deformed, #business

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Ratbert: VP of Sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, some might say you're below your sales quota because the economy is soft." Ratbert says, "But I say it's because I haven't beaten you enough with this wooden spoon." Ratbert says, "You know what I'm tired of hearing? 'Not my good eye! Not my good eye!'"