Data Center Comic Strips - Page 3
200 Results for Data Center
View 21 - 30 results for data center comic strips. Discover the best "Data Center" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 06, 2012's comic on:
I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.
Share April 23, 2012's comic on:
Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Share June 21, 2012's comic on:
Catbert: Ted, have you seen the Tupac video where he performs as a hologram? We've decided to do the same thing with all of our employees. We're going to move your data to the cloud. Ted: Tupac is dead. Catbert: I think you mean economical.
Share June 22, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.
Share November 07, 1989's comic on:
A large man enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Yo, Dilbert, give me your lunch money or I'll erase your data diskettes." Dilbert replies, "Touch my data and I'll erase any mention of you from the main payroll computer." Beads of sweat flies from the man's head and he says, "No . . . Please, I'm sorry." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "Nothing is more pathetic than an aging school bully." The man says, "I took shop; I can make you some nice bookends."
Share November 08, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."
Share January 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've decided to be the center of the universe." Dogbert continues, "All of the things in the universe can now be described in terms of their relationship to me." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a rock. Dilbert says, "I don't understand why you're doing this." Dogbert replies, "That's because your brain is only a half-Dogbert."
Share February 11, 1993's comic on:
A man stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "We don't need any of your 'intuition' mumbo jumbo. We need quantitative data!" The man continues, "The only way to make decisions is to pull numbers out of the air, call them 'assumptions,' and calculate the net present value." The man continues, "Of course, you have to use the right discount rate, otherwise it's meaningless." Dogbert says, "Go away."
Share April 24, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits in the chair. Dilbert says, "Look what I got for my computer! It's a romostatic real-time data compression processor!" Dilbert walks away saying, "Oooh . . . I can't wait to plug you in, my little darling. I've waited so long." Dilbert says, "Oh yes! Yes!" Dogbert asks, "Does the church know about this?"
Share March 01, 1994's comic on:
The boss: engineering is simple. you start by questioning the employees who would get fired if you succeeded. The Boss: Then you use data to design a more efficient business process. Dilbert: So...you say you use flying monkeys to deliver the finished design? Men: They're very fast.