Dead Horse Comic Strips - Page 3

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198 Results for Dead Horse

View 21 - 30 results for dead horse comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Horse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #report, #sentence, #micro-robotics, #dead-end, #technology, #opposite, #confusing, #senseless, #scenario, #win-win

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #lunch date, #rejction, #says she's dead, #seeing an illusion

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Tina: Lunch? With you? I'd love to but...uh... Tina: Im clinically dead, what you see are merely the last involuntary spasms before I stiffen. Dilbert: I have a hand truck. Tina: this was a very bad idea.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #dog, #rat, #phone call, #customer, #question, #compensate tiny brain, #to busy, #play dead, #animals

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DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "Please wait while I consult with somebody who has your exact same problem." Ratbert sits in the chair next to Dogbert. Dogbert asks him, "How do you compensate for a tiny brain, Ratbert?" Ratbert answers, "I just say I'm way too busy to learn. Then I get somebody else to do my work." Dilbert says into the phone, "I'm going to transfer you to an expert." Ratbert says, "Sometimes I pretend to be dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #iso 9000 certfication, #create boring, #poorly written document, #big binder, #copies to dept. heads, #dead racoon

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Dilbert puts a transparency on an overhead projector and says, "Here's the basic plan for getting our 'ISO 9000' certification." Dilbert points at the diagram and continues, "Each of you will create an insanely boring, poorly written document. I'll combine them into one big honkin' binder." Dilbert points to a picture of a man passing a binder to another man and continues, "I'll send copies to all department heads for comment. They will treat it like a dead raccoon and route it to the first passerby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #horse drink, #lead a horse to water, #stick a hose, #tape hose in mouth, #horse drink water

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Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch armrest. Dogbert says, "Remember the old saying, Ratbert: you can lead a horse to water . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . But by the time you got there you'd smell like a horse and your butt would hurt." Ratbert asks, "If you stuck a hose in a horse's mouth and taped it there, could you make the horse drink?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, I've tried it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bluffing, #control, #don't, #wing, #my, #husband, #dead, #parties, #jury, #trials, #steamroller, #porsche

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The caption says, "What if people had tails? First of all, it would look darned silly." A tail protrudes from Dilbert's pants. The caption says, "Only the truly unobservant would lose at poker." Dilbert sits at a table playing poker with a man. Dilbert thinks, "He's bluffing." The man's tail wags. He thinks, "Control . . . Don't wag . . ." The caption says, "Jury trials would be simpler." A woman sits in the witness stand and says, ". . . Then I found my husband dead." The judge and a lawyer stare at her wagging tail. The caption says, "And parties would be even more awkward." Dilbert talks to a man with a bandage on his head and his arm in a sling. The man says, "That's when I learned that if you drive a Porsche, you should never make fun of a man on a steamroller." Dilbert's tail wags as he replies, "Tragic . . . Really."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dead, #targets, #power-hungry, #managers, #career, #shooting

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1996's comic on:


Tags #both dead, #doing nothing, #hundred years, #spread joy, #whats funny, #working hard, #ratbert, #Dilbert

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Ratbert walks across Dilbert's desk and says, "You know what's funny? I'll tell you." Ratbert continues, "You're working hard. I'm doing nothing. In a hundred years we'll both be dead." Dilbert says angrily, "You might not need to wait that long." Ratbert says as he walks away, "I think I'll spread some joy over this way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #company training, #hope to learn, #bad toupee, #dead animal, #freak of nature, #general

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The caption says, "Company Training." The instructor stands at the front of the room and says, "Let's go around the room and we'll each say what we hope to learn." Alice, Wally and several other people sit in the audience. Alice says, "I hope to learn whether that thing on your head is a bad toupee, a dead animal, or a hideous freak of nature." The instructor pauses before writing on the easel and asks, "Can I call that 'general'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #conference room, #dead emplyee, #employee of the week, #headcount down

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The Boss carries a dead body over his shoulder. He tells Dilbert, "I found another dead employee in the conference room." Dilbert looks shocked. The Boss continues, "I don't know what got him - the boredom or the hard work. But headcount is down one and the company has life insurance on him!" The Boss thinks, "It looks like I found my 'Employee of the Week.'"