Decision Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

123 Results for Decision

View 21 - 30 results for decision comic strips. Discover the best "Decision" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?

Decisions Without Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #business, #time, #compile, #facts, #guess, #career

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Asok Analysis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Asok Analysis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #numbers, #analysis, #experience, #liars, #department

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Doing Nothing Is A Decision

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doing Nothing Is A Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #harsh, #hate, #lazy, #managers & supervisors, #progress, #projects, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #brain overload, #detailed answer, #broken, #decison, #nodding, #sensing opportunity, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #courage, #electronic mail, #thinking, #greatest idea ever, #email

View Transcript

Transcript

Bad decision 1 Dilbert: This is the greatest idea ever. Why does it look so dumb when I put it in email? I'll sort it out later.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #discussion, #ognorant, #arrogant, #reading comprehension, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your email was ignorant and arrogant. Dilbert: How do you know it isn't just a reading comprehension problem on your end? Let's use logic to see which one of us is right. Bad decision 2. Bad decision 3.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #frustration, #matrix comparing features, #skin in game, #bang head, #cause extra work, #value of time, #ninja economics

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #despair, #meetings, #six variables, #4 imbeciles, #brilliant engineer, #complexity algorithm, #rational deciosn, #brilliant career

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Okay, this next decision involves six variables, four imbeciles, and one brilliant engineer. According to the Dogbert complexity algorithm, it is impossible to make a rational decision in this situation. All in favor of giving up? Boss: I found out I'm a brilliant engineer.