Department Newsletter Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for department newsletter comic strips. Discover the best "Department Newsletter" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #department, #bowling, #rewarding, #performance, #quarter

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "We're having a department bowling night tomorrow." The Boss continues, "It's my way of rewarding all of you for your performance this quarter." Dilbert replies, "We hate doing things together at night." The Boss says, "I wasn't happy with your performance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #embrace, #change, #management fad, #alice, #Wally, #pass, #quickly, #linger, #stench, #newsletter

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, ". . . Companies must learn to embrace change." The employees all think, "Uh-oh. It's another management fad." They all think, "Will it pass quickly or will it linger like the stench of a dead woodchuck under the porch?" The Boss says, "I think we should do a 'change' newsletter." The employees think, "Woodchuck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #susan, #department, #budget, #together, #branded, #life, #engineers, #spit, #guard, #raincoat

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to help Susan put the department budget together." Dilbert's tie stands up and he says, "Budget?!" Dilbert begs, "No, please! I'll be branded for life. The other engineers will spit on me." The Boss thinks, "Darn, his guard is up." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "I'll have to wear a raincoat to work!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projects floundering, #bold strategy, #reorganize, #department, #last month, #bold

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The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blind ambition, #chips & dips, #food services, #new name, #procurement, #the unled, #new department

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The Boss: We'll need a name for the newly reorganized department. The name should reflect how Ive seamlessly integrated engineering with food services and procurement. Dilbert: How about "chips and dips"? Wally: "Blind Ambition" Man: " The unled"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good inertia, #marketing department, #project, #under funded, #uniformed decision, #take blame

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The Boss: How's your project coming along? Dilbert: Its under-funded and doomed. But Ive got some goof inertia going and Im setting the marketing department up to take the blame. The Boss: I feel like I should be doing something here. Dilbert: Ive got you planned to make an uniformed decision next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #steering committee, #calla meeting, #department heads, #override, #moot point, #leaders only

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Dilbert: Did you remember what the steering committee decided about my project? The Boss: Nope You'd better calla meeting with all the department heads, Their orders will override the steering committee and make it a moot point, Dilbert: It will take months to get on all of their calendars. The boss: And don't invite yourself. Its for leaders only.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assets ratio, #boost, #security department, #brisk redcution, #joking, #den

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We need to boost our return-on-assets ratio." Wally says, "Let's eliminate the security department. That would cut expenses while allowing for a brisk reduction in assets." As they walk away, Dilbert asks Wally, "When are you planning to tell him you were joking?" Wally responds, "After I furnish my den."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #transfer, #department, #dysfunctional organization, #love and support, #long distant, #fax room, #resume, #complete jerk

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Wally sits in a chair across from a manager's desk. The manager asks, "Why do you want to transfer to my department, Wally?" Wally responds, "I'm in a dysfunctional organization. I'm not getting the love and support I need. That's why I've been making long-distance personal calls from the fax room." The manager says, "Your resume says every boss you've had was a complete jerk." Wally responds, "So, when do I start?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reorganizing, #department, #fast moving, #powerless, #micro managed, #team, #less experienced people, #g forces, #killing me, #business

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The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm reorganizing the department into fast-moving teams." Wally responds, "Good plan. We'll never realize we're powerless, micro-managed serfs after we call ourselves a 'team.'" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced people." Wally says, "I feel faster already." Alice adds, "The G-forces are killing me".