Different Light Comic Strips - Page 3

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228 Results for Different Light

View 21 - 30 results for different light comic strips. Discover the best "Different Light" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #self-centered, #jerks, #woman, #dating, #date, #different, #considerate, #ugly

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Most handsome men are self-centered jerks." The woman continues, "But you're different . . . You're . . ." Dilbert asks, "Considerate?" The woman replies, "Ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #left-handed, #elbonians, #take, #change, #light, #bulb, #funnier

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One Elbonian asks another, "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?" The Elbonian says, "None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have any light bulbs!" The other Elbonian asks, "What's a light bulb?" The Elbonian replies, "I guess it would be funnier if we knew that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #light, #dense, #forced, #job, #highschool, #gym, #teacher, #subjects

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, ". . . As you approached the speed of light you would become infinitely dense." Dogbert asks, "Then would you be forced to take a job as a high school gym teacher?" Dilbert replies, "The book changes subjects at this point." Dogbert says, "Sounds like a cover-up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminated budget, #getting dumber, #brain shrivel, #hair different

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Dilbert: You've completely eliminated the budget for technical training! Im getting dumber every minute, My brain is starting to shrivel like a raisin! The Boss: Get out of my office. Dilbert: even my hair feels different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flying pigs, #dilbert dating, #insufficient light, #heel froze over, #rare occasion

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Dilbert: I think I found a woman who likes me, dogcart. Dogbert: No way! Dilbert: Its Phil, the prince of insufficient light! PHIL: Heck just froze over. Dilbert: This is NOT my fault! PHIL: tell them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jar, #soul of mail boy, #shake hold to light, #bargaining table, #union rights, #negotiating

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Dilbert: Whats in the jar? The Boss: Its the soul of the Willy Mail Boy. If you shake it real hard and hold it up to the light you can see it. Dilbert: The union didn't do to well at the old bargaining table this year. willy: These aren't our glory years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staus report, #light, #email, #flame war, #technical surperiority, #simian ancestry, #obligation, #victims of hormones

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Both of them look like they have been burned in a fire. Dilbert says, "My status report is a bit light this week because I'm having an e-mail flame war with Wally." Dilbert continues angrily, "Wally refuses to admit my technical superiority or his simian ancestry. It is my obligation to set him straight." Wally shakes his fist at Dilbert and shouts, "NEVER!!" Dilbert says, "I'm thinking this somehow elevates my rank in the herd and improves my mating possibilities." Wally says, "We're victims of hormones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas of 92, #mall, #filberts dad, #different not worse, #death, #loss, #missing, #lives at mall, #medical

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Dilbert and Liz are having tea with Dilbert's mother, who says, "It's really different around here since we lost Dilbert's dad." Liz asks, "When did he die?" Dilbert says, "He's not dead. We lost him at the mall, Christmas of '92." Liz looks shocked and asks, "Shouldn't you be looking for him?" Dilbert's mom replies, "I said it's different, not worse."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #sadistic plot, #different objectives, #staus report, #staple himself

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Catbert peers over the wall of Wally's cubicle and says, "Guess what, Wally." Wally says, "What sadistic plot has HR come up with now, Catbert?" Catbert shows Wally an org chart and says, "We're giving you a real boss plus a 'dotted line' to another boss who has different objectives." Catbert continues, "The status reports alone will take forty hours a week." Wally opens a stapler and says, "I'm gonna staple myself to death."