Different Religions Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

135 Results for Different Religions

View 21 - 30 results for different religions comic strips. Discover the best "Different Religions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #different classes, #segment, #paid, #relatively unimportant segment

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: I decided to segment the compensation of different classes of employees. "You'll be in the segment that gets paid the same no matter what you do." "I call your segment the 'relatively unimportant' segment." Tina: "Catchy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #low balling gaols, #coming year, #decompose chair, #sounds easy, #different chair

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year. For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'. That sounds easy. Dilbert: Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #colossal waste, #different light, #less usless, #unimportant, #staff meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I took a class on being less useless. Now I see the world in a different light." Wally says, "For example, I recognize these staff meetings as colossal wastes of time, but there's nothing I can do about them." Wally says, "Now my helplessness makes my uselessness seem unimportant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #how-to, #obstinacy, #rules of leadership, #context, #books, #different approach, #real leaders, #magic formula, #gullible baboon, #throughout history, #random book, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

Thank you for voting.
Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Different Time Estimates

Thank you for voting.
Different Time Estimates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #quote, #estimate, #time, #deadline, #length, #pessimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #golf, #video games, #pebble beach, #xbox, #full spectrum, #lamp, #fresh air, #house, #windows, #played golf, #coffee, #Sports, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #money, #budget, #last year objectives, #huge loss, #bottomline, #punish siuccess, #startegy, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.