Discover Religion Comic Strips - Page 3
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30 Results for Discover Religion
View 21 - 30 results for discover religion comic strips. Discover the best "Discover Religion" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 12,
2002
Tags #daily prayer services, #blood, #bain washing, #ambitious plans
Transcript
A man with a wizard suit, holding an animal-headed staff says to The Boss, "I'd like permission to hold daily prayer services in a conference room." The man continues, "I'll do it before work and of course I'll clean up any blood." The man continues, "So far I'm the only member of my religion but I have ambitious plans for brainwashing."
Monday August 29,
2005
Tags #discount religin, #tithing 5%, #sin is in, #no time with joiners
Transcript
I decided to start a discount religion. "The tithing would only be 5% and I'd let people sin as much as they wanted." BOOK "The only problem is that I don't want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion."
Thursday January 07,
2010
Tags #doubting, #challenge, #bible, #god, #scare, #planned, #Religion
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to work with a greater sense of urgency." Wally says, "The Bible says, "Good things come to those who wait." Wally says, "SO it's basically you against God. Let me know when you two get it sorted out." Dilbert says, "Really? There was thunder when he doubted you?" Wally says, "I synchronize my excuses to weather forecasts."
Sunday April 12,
2009
Tags #money, #investing, #con, #violence, #lying
Transcript
Man says, "I'm thinking of investing in the Dogbert hedge fund." Man says, "Can you explain how it works?" Dogbert says, "It's simple I take your money and then use math to turn it into my money while destroying the overall economy." Man says, "Is that legal?" Dogbert says, "More so than you'd think." Man says, "What's in it for me?" Dogbert says, "My inflated claims will give you false hope." Dogbert says, "That way you won't stress out until after you retire and discover you're penniless." Man says, "But I..." Bonk! Ugh! Man says, "I don't remember the last five minutes." Dogbert says, "I was telling you that my hedge fund will earn you 520% per year."
Wednesday July 03,
2013
Tags #executives, #wages, #media, #overpaid, #ceos, #executive pay, #sultan of brunei, #larry elliosn, #god, #Religion, #Entertainment, #money
Transcript
CEO: The media is saying I'm overpaid compared to other CEOs. That's crazy. Do a benchmark study of executive pay, including the Sultan of Brunei, Larry Ellison, and God. Make sure my pay ends up somewhere in the middle so it doesn't look suspicious.
Saturday August 01,
2015
Solving Problems In Interviews
Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.
Friday December 11,
2015
Robots Inherit Earth
Tags #robot, #intelligence, #Religion, #faith, #god, #message, #messenger, #deception, #power
Transcript
Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.
Monday November 07,
2016
Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul
Tags #conscience, #technology, #morals, #morality, #guidance, #Religion
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented an artificial soul to help non-believers act morally. It's a small drone that follows you around and reminds you not to be a jerk. Wally: Did it forget to remind you today? Dilbert: My drone says I shouldn't slap you.
Sunday March 03,
2019
Tags #computer software, #computers, #intelligence, #technology, #trick, #humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.
Tuesday November 24,
2020
Working At Home Benefits
Tags #loneliness, #office, #technology, #video conference, #work at home, #co-workers, #mute
Transcript
dilbert at home on bed. wally's voice from laptop: how do you like working at home all the time now? dilbert: i was delighted to discover that a crushing sense of loneliness is better than spending time with my co-workers. wally: no offense taken. dilbert: and don't get me started about the splendor of the mute button.
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