Dogbert Called Comic Strips - Page 3
1000 Results for Dogbert Called
View 21 - 30 results for dogbert called comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert Called" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 22, 1992's comic on:
Two men shove each other as they enter "Dogbert's School for Jerks." Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "We'll begin by sorting you into the three major jerk categories for specialized instruction." Dogbert holds up a photo and says, "Look at this picture of supermodel Cindy Crawford." A man in the audience says, "Whoa! Hubba! Snort!" Dogbert says, "Anybody who said 'hubba,' stand over there. You are what is called 'jerks around women.'" Dogbert tosses a ball into the audience and says, "Now, somebody catch this ball, please." Someone yells, "Foul! You fouled!" Dogbert says, "Anybody who yelled 'foul' is a 'sports jerk.' Stand over there." A man says, "It WAS a foul." Dogbert says, "So, whoever is left must be . . ." A woman wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase says, "Hurry up. I'm late for court." The man next to her asks, "You're a lawyer too?" Another man says, "I was going to say 'hubba.'"
Share May 18, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands next to Dogbert while he sits at a table drawing. Dogbert says, "I'm creating a comic strip called 'Pippy the Ziphead.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm cramming as much artwork in there as possible, so no one will notice there's only one joke." Dilbert sits next to Dogbert, peruses the cartoon and says, "The joke is on the reader, isn't it?" Dogbert responds, "I'd better cram some more art in there."
Share March 01, 2001's comic on:
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"
Share September 24, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert for president Dogbert: As president, I will not make decisions based on polls." "In fact, I won't give you a single thing that you want. That's called leadership." "I'll never understand why that works." Audience: "yay!" clap! clap! clap! clap! clap!
Share February 10, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Where does your company fit on this comprehensive list?" Facebook, China, Irrelevant Dogbert says, "Now let's form breakout groups to fantasize about being relevant."
Share August 31, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.
Share December 03, 2011's comic on:
News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,
Share May 25, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"
Share July 26, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "Okay then, if you two dinosaurs want to continue hiding in my house you have to observe the house rules." Dilbert continues, "Let's see . . . Uh . . . Remain out of sight . . . Don't leave the lights on when you're out of the room . . ." Dilbert asks, "Am I forgetting anything, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'No ripping the flesh off the other residents.'"
Share July 27, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk with drafting tools in front of him. Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This design could change the way the world barbecues. No more struggling with charcoal." Dilbert shows the paper to Dogbert and says, "This schematic shows how an electrically induced coil-like medium can heat food without charcoal or lighter fluid!" Dilbert continues, "I call it the Max-10 Energy Transfer Model." Dogbert asks, "Did the name 'Electric Stove' occur to you at any time?"