Drill For Oil Comic Strips - Page 3
34 Results for Drill For Oil
View 21 - 30 results for drill for oil comic strips. Discover the best "Drill For Oil" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 18, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Come help me hook up my new VCR, Dogbert." Dilbert kneels next to the television and says, "You read the instructions and I'll connect the cables." Dogbert reads, "'Connect the 300 Ohm twin-lead flat cable to the 75 Ohm RF2 jack.'" Dilbert looks confused. Dogbert continues to read, "'Or use the optional 75 Ohm co-axial cable with the F type connector.'" Dilbert thinks, "Good Lord, I'm an electrical engineer and I don't understand any of this." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to lie to the other engineers and say I don't WANT to record tv shows." Dogbert reads, "'Now, strip naked, cover your body with motor oil and run through town yelling walla-walla-walla.'" Dilbert says, "Let me see that." Dogbert reads, "'Step six: Do not doubt the nice dog.'"
Share January 18, 1997's comic on:
Bob the Dinosaur and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement." Dogbert continues, "Now it's more of a reincarnation model. If the worker learns enough in his current job, he can progress to a higher level of employment elsewhere." Dogbert continues, "These analogies aren't working for you, are they, Bob?" Bob replies, "My hope is that one day I will biodegrade and become 'WD-40' oil."
Share March 26, 2000's comic on:
The Boss points to the screen and tells Tina the Tech Writer while she is behind her computer: "Tina, move that title..." He continues: "...over here." Tina screams: "Aaaagh!!" She exclaims: "Your finger oil is on my screen!!!" She says: "Now I have to spend ten minutes cleaning it..." She continues: "...because you don't understand how to hover your finger." She demonstrates for the Boss: "See?! This isn't hard. You hover the finger! Don't touch!" The Boss thinks as he is walking away: "I hope I'm not losing my aura of infallibility."
Share June 16, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert consults. Incentivize the resources to grow within their bandwidth to your end-state vision. "Don't open the Kimono until you ping the change agent for brain dump and drill down to your core competencies." "Confused look...huge invoice...this man is a victim of consult and blabbery."
Share May 19, 2006's comic on:
Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist "I started in my garage..." "Take my money!!!" "Don't you want to hear the rest?" "I don't see how it could get any better." "I have a product." "I need a forklift and massage oil now!!!"
Share July 10, 2006's comic on:
We discovered that the mud in Elbonia is caused by an abundance of oil and coal near the surface. "Our country will be prosperous and happy forever unless we do something incredibly stupid." "Are you building any weapons of mass destruction?" "Why? Is that a problem?"
Share August 10, 2006's comic on:
The Mildly Retarded Consultant "You'll have to drink from the firehose unless..." "...You drill down and check the dashboard to see why the bloatware bubbled up from the bake-off." "Does that mean anything?" "Don't ping my cheese with your bandwidth."
Share December 13, 2006's comic on:
I worked on my own time to invent a room-temperature superconductor that could eliminate our need for oil. "You were supposed to be finding a new vendor for toner cartridges. What happened to that?" "Must...not use...telekinesis..." "Why does my necktie seem so...ERK!!!"
Share June 06, 2007's comic on:
Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle." Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."
Share August 14, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."