Earn No Money Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

624 Results for Earn No Money

View 21 - 30 results for earn no money comic strips. Discover the best "Earn No Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Dilbert Characters

Wally Borrows Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #danger, #health & safety, #money, #office workers, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #hard work, #lateral promotion, #new job, #old job, #money involved, #saving it

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to reward you for your hard work by giving you a lateral promotion. I was going to hire from the outside, but I realized I can make you do the new job plus your old one. Dilbert: Is money involved? Boss: Yes! I'm saving a ton of it!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #new software vendor, #form realtionship, #take money, #ex wife

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm your new software vendor. I'm here to form a relationship with you. That way it will be easy to take half of your money. Dilbert: Does that ever work? Man: It worked for my ex-wife.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #writing materials, #executive leadership, #money good, #pie chart, #kitten

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you word that more simply? I need to explain it to the executive leadership. Alice: Money be god. This make more. Oogah! Boss: That was uncalled for? Alice: I can replace the pie chart with a kitten.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saving & investment, #stock market, #mba, #losing money, #money in gold, #shiny portfolio, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consolidating, #marketing, #illusion, #golf, #ceo, #money, #shared services, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?