Eat Card Comic Strips - Page 3

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260 Results for Eat Card

View 21 - 30 results for eat card comic strips. Discover the best "Eat Card" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #christmas presents, #Dilbert, #Wally, #christmas, #gift, #cd player, #Card, #shallow, #gesture

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters holding an envelope and says, "I'm collecting money for a gift to a poor family this Christmas." Dilbert opens his wallet and asks, "What are you buying them?" Wally replies, "A CD player." Dilbert says, "Thank you for making this the most shallow gesture of my life." Wally says, "I'll add your name to the card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #business, #Card, #romance, #interpreter, #dates, #translate, #male, #female, #language, #date, #women and men

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's my new business card. I'm a romance interpreter." Dogbert explains, "For a small fee I'll accompany you on dates and translate between male and female language." Dilbert, Dogbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "She's telling a pointless story about work. By annoying you in this way she hopes to form a closer bond."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #hideous, #shopping, #experience, #pants, #Card, #reported, #stolen, #strangled, #minutes, #aisle, #six, #floor, #chalk, #outline

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Dilbert stands in line at a cash register thinking, "It was another hideous shopping experience, but I found exactly the pants I want." The clerk says to the man in front of Dilbert, "I'm sorry . . ." The salesclerk says, "This card was reported stolen. The real owner was strangled with his own pants just minutes ago on aisle six . . ." Dilbert looks at the pants he is holding and thinks, "That would explain why these were on the floor by the chalk outline."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #not welcome, #against rules, #eat ratbert, #work not done, #natural enemy, #keyboard, #mouse, #computer, #technology

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"You're not welcome here, Cat. It's against house rules to eat Ratbert." "My work here is not done until I have pounced on my natural enemy." "Who are you, and what are you doing on my keyboard?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #turn the house, #gambling casino, #illeagl, #tiny republic, #dogbertland, #seed from repressive, #morning, #voting, #green card

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Dogbert spreads construction plans on the table and says to Dilbert, "I'm planning to turn the house into a gambling casino." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that illegal?" Dogbert replies, "Not in the tiny republic of Dogbertland. I seceded from the repressive homeland this morning." Dilbert says, "I don't remember voting on that." Dogbert hands him a card and says, "Here's your green card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #temp worker, #really testing self worth, #compensate list of talents, #walks past, #ignore i eat rubber, #i carry disease, #i enjoy opera

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Ratbert is in his box. He thinks, "This is really testing my sense of self-worth." Ratbert continues thinking, "I will compensate by shouting a list of my talents to anybody who walks past." Dilbert is standing next to Wally. Dilbert says, "Ignore him. He's trying to trick us into making eye contact." Out of view, Ratbert shouts, "I eat rubber! I carry disease! I enjoy opera!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #hired, #audit, #perfect job, #give money, #call dolts, #alice, #engineer, #makes slides, #eat donuts, #engineering

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Dogbert says to Alice, "I've been hired by your company to perform an ISO 9000 audit." Looking at his laptop PC, Dogbert says, "Basically, you give me money and I tell you that you're a bunch of dolts. It's the perfect job for me." Dogbert continues, "Tell me what you do here, Alice, if that's your real name." Alice replies, "I'm an engineer. I make slides that people can't read. Sometimes I eat donuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new software, #installed, #send registartion, #modem, #credit card, #Number, #new products, #virus, #excellent marketing

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Dilbert sits at his computer. A message on the screen says, "Your new software is successfully installed. Do you want to send your registration info by modem?" Dilbert says, "Yes." A message says, "The software has found your credit card number and is placing orders for new products it thinks you need . . . Please wait." Dilbert says, "Uh." The message says, "Making room on your hard drive . . ." Dilbert says as he loads a rifle, "I can't tell if it's a virus or just excellent marketing." Dogbert holds the box of ammunition and adds, "Either way . . "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #earth, #track, #macy's, #credit, #Card, #visa, #mastercard, #chew-toy, #cash, #advance, #netting, #billions, #Lottery, #prize, #bank

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Dogbert walks away from the mailbox holding a letter. He says, "Ha ha ha! My scheme to conquer earth is right on track!" Dilbert sits at a desk working on a device. Dogbert enters the room and announces, "I've been approved for a Macy's credit card!" Dogbert says, "I'll use this credit history to apply for Visa and Mastercard." Dogbert continues, "Soon I'll have credit cards from every bank in the world." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll do a cash advance on every card, netting billions to form a worldwide lottery prize." Dogbert continues, "And everybody who supports me as supreme ruler of earth gets one free lottery ticket." Dilbert says, "You know, most dogs would be delighted just to get a nice chew-toy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #credit, #Card, #stupid, #banks, #computer, #righteous, #indignation, #department, #employee, #speaking, #reprogram, #mannual

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Dilbert reads a letter and tells Dogbert, "My credit card has been canceled. The stupid bank's computer thinks I died." Dilbert continues, "This is an opportunity for some righteous indignation. I love that." Dilbert dials the telephone. A customer service representative answers the phone and says, "Hello, credit card department, an underpaid employee speaking." The man says, "Well, yes, apparently you are alive, but it would be very difficult to reprogram the computer . . ." Dilbert replies, "I'm sure you'll find a solution." A woman at the bank asks, "Kill him?" The man replies, "Unless you'd RATHER read this computer manual."