Albanian: If you hire me, I will do all the jobs that the people born in this country are too fat and lazy to do. I don't require a safe working environment, and I thrive on abuse!
The Boss: Do you complain much?"
Albanian: I'll remove my own tongue and give it to you in a pickle jar for boss's day.
Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.