Employees Who Complain Comic Strips - Page 3

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593 Results for Employees Who Complain

View 21 - 30 results for employees who complain comic strips. Discover the best "Employees Who Complain" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #consultant, #right-brain, #potential, #employees, #creative, #answers, #left-brain, #quantitative, #analysis, #stem, #meetings

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk and says, "As your consultant I'll be able to unleash right-brain potential in your employees." Dogbert continues, "They'll learn to find creative answers, not just rely on left-brain quantitative analysis." The Boss asks, "Which part of the brain do we use for meetings?" Dogbert replies, "That would be the stem."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #employees, #valuable, #asset, #the boss, #afraid, #carbon, #paper

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Dilbert, Wally, Ted and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've been saying for years that 'employees are our most valuable asset.'" The Boss continues, "It turns out that I was wrong. Money is our most valuable asset. Employees are ninth." Wally says, "I'm afraid to ask what came in eighth." The Boss replies, "Carbon paper."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #complain, #vote, #logical, #bumper

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . And people who don't bother to vote have no right to complain." Dogbert asks, "Why not?" Dilbert replies, "Why not? It's obvious. No vote means no right to complain. You can't get much more logical than that." Dilbert says, "Besides, that's how I was raised." Dogbert asks, "You were raised by bumper stickers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

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At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #defantalator, #invention, #eliminate, #naughty, #male, #employees, #succeeded, #acting, #Men, #new, #hairdo

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A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk holding a device. The woman says, "My 'defantalator' invention can eliminate the unproductive and naughty thoughts of your male employees." The woman continues, "We succeeded in getting men to stop ACTING like men, but it wasn't enough. Men must stop THINKING like men too." The Boss thinks, "Hmm . . . A little makeup and a new hairdo . . ." The woman points the invention at the Boss and says, "Hey! Cut it out!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #crack, #writing, #mission statement, #strategic, #business, #initiatives, #empowered, #employees, #team, #paradigms, #marvel, #paid, #donuts

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I took a crack at writing a 'mission statement' for our group." The Boss reads, "We enhance stockholder value through strategic business intiatives by empowered employees working in new team paradigms." Dilbert asks Wally, "Do you ever just marvel at the fact we get paid to do this?" The Boss asks, "Did anybody bring donuts?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #low priority tasks, #transform into emergency, #escalated, #all worked up, #complain about attitude

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Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #organization chart, #management, #bottom, #most important employees, #payed least, #upside down chart

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The Boss: We've redesigned the organization chart to show management at the BOTTOM supporting our most important employees! Dilbert: Question: why do the most important employees get payed the least? The Boss; Because they would never think of ideas like this upside- down chart concept.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #resources vailable, #common employees, #more money, #project, #all gone, #hypocrite boss, #no time

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The Boss: "Although I'm technically the 'Boss' I believe it's my job to make resources available to you, the common employees." Dilbert: "I need more money for my project." The Boss: "Sorry, all gone." Dilbert: "Maybe I'll get on your calendar so we can discuss it." The Boss: I've got twenty minutes next summer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #reengineering, #questioning employees, #get fired, #objective data, #business process, #flying monkeys, #finished design

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The boss: engineering is simple. you start by questioning the employees who would get fired if you succeeded. The Boss: Then you use data to design a more efficient business process. Dilbert: So...you say you use flying monkeys to deliver the finished design? Men: They're very fast.