Empty Chairs Comic Strips - Page 3

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98 Results for Empty Chairs

View 21 - 30 results for empty chairs comic strips. Discover the best "Empty Chairs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #removed all chairs, #more efficient meetings, #efficiency, #what looked like

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The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #complain, #joke, #human rsources, #psychologically damaged, #empty shell, #always been, #hungry

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"Wally, did you complain to human resources about my off-color e-mail joke?" "Yes. I was psycologically damaged by your mirth. Now I'm an empty shell of a man." "You've ALWAYS been an empty shell of a man!!!" "This is making me hungry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #naive, #whats wrong, #pat your head, #condescending, #empty handed

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Dilbert stands in the boss' office. Dilbert says, "So that's my idea. What do you think?" The boss says, "Dilbert, you are so naive." The boss says, "There are many things you don't understand." Dilbert says, "That's because you never tell me anything!" The boss says, "Dilbert, Dilbert, Dilbert.." Dilbert says, "Like now for example!" Dilbert says, "Jeepers Cripes! Just tell me what is wrong with my idea!" The boss motions to the side of his desk and says, "LEan over here so I can pat your head in a condescending way." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on their couch at home. Dogbert says, "So you took the pat?" Dilbert says, "I didn't want to leave empty-handed"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #questioning, #stand ups, #no chairs, #more focused, #loosening dress code, #pants and chairs

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Boss: Starting next week, our meetings will be "stand-ups" with no chairs, so we'll be more focused. Dilbert: So you examined all of the problems in the company and decided the root cause was chairs? Boss: We're also loosening the dress code. Dilbert: So our problems are chairs and pants?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss, #office workers, #conference room chairs, #cubicles, #steal chairs, #steal

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The boss: Carol I want you to take any conference room chairs that re in cubicles and put them back where they belong. Carol: People are going to steal the chairs back as soon as I leave. The boss: Maybe, but do it anyways. Carol: So... we agree that there's no way to tell if I really did it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #scan, #document, #ask, #favor, #important, #scanner malfunction, #hope, #empty candy jar, #hopeless

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Dilbert says, "Can you scan this document for me?" Carol says, "Is it important?" Carol says, "If it isn't important, you shouldn't bother me. If it is, the scanner will malfunction." Dilbert says, "Is there no room for hope?" Carol says, "I keep mine in this empty candy jar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #empty brain, #stress, #word knowledge, #past the filters, #mantra, #lindsay lohan, #britney spears, #paris hilton

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Ratbert: My brain is empty. "It feels great!" "Stress is just another word for knowledge." "Wait a minute. How do I know that?" "GAAA!!! Something got past the filters!" "Must...Do...Mantra..." "Lindsay Lohan...Britney Spears...Paris Hilton...Ommmmm." Dogbert: "Are you all good now?" Ratbert: "Have we met?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #take the chair, #don't sell chairs, #sell hope, #hope of chairs, #ship in 2 months, #call and yell, #buy a chair

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SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

Asok Upgrades His Soul

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Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #actions, #beliefs, #empty life, #hilarious, #legacy souls, #social media, #dopamine, #delivery systems, #technology

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Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.

Glass Is Half Full

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Glass Is Half Full - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #glass, #half empty, #half full, #the engineer, #pie hole

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The Boss: A pessimist says the glass is half empty. An optimist says it is half full. Dilbert: The engineer says the glass is too big. The Boss: The manager says the engineer should shut his pie hole.