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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing

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Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #productivity, #daydreaming, #irene, #accounting, #engineering, #ordinary, #betty, #marketing

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Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "My productivity is shot. I can't stop daydreaming about Irene in accounting." Ted says, "Do what I did. Try to phase out of it by daydreaming of Laura in engineering, then move to the ordinary-looking Betty in marketing." Wally replies, "Now I'm daydreaming about all three of them." Ted replies, "Same thing happened to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #engineering, #banana, #flea, #hotel, #zimbu, #management, #track, #victory

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The Boss: After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job. Dilbert: Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha ha!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #stan, #customer, #engineering, #deliver, #salesman, #classes, #night, #karate

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Dilbert: Stan, you promised the customer things that engineering can't possibly deliver do you know what this means?! Stan: It means I'm great salesman and you're a putrid engineer. Maybe you should consider taking classes at night. Dilbert: Karate classes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey

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Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #beat it out, #changing mind, #engineering, #goons, #project requirements, #thoughts, #won't share, #meditation

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Ted: The project requirements are forming in my mind. Now there changing ....changing...changing...changing...okay ...no, wait ,,,,changing ...changing...done. Ted: Naturally, Wont be sharing any of these thoughts with engineering. Dilbert: I budgeted for some goons to beat it out of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new name for group, #engineering science research, #designed business cards, #long name, #complicated

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I came up with a new name for our group." The Boss continues, "From now on we're the 'Engineering Science Research Technology Systems Information Quality and Excellence Center.'" Wally says, "You should throw 'efficiency' in there too." The Boss holds up a long piece of paper and says, "I designed the business cards myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #stay engineer, #career in mangement, #engineer, #dark side, #found probelm, #engineering

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Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #left engineering, #acme manger, #sexy, #liz, #decrease sex appeal, #planning number, #ham radio licence, #compensate loss, #goose bumps

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Dilbert walks outside with Liz. Dilbert asks her, "If I left engineering and became a manager would I be as sexy as I am now, Liz?" Liz responds, "I think it would decrease your sex appeal by 17%. But that's just a planning number." Dilbert and Liz sit on the couch. Dilbert asks, "What if I got my ham radio license to compensate for the loss?" Liz replies, "Look at my arm: goose bumps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dark side, #engineering, #technical knowledge, #generlaist, #easy path, #suite, #applications, #unnatural

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Phil stands behind Dilbert's desk and waves his hand and his spoon. Phil says, "Come to the dark side, Dilbert. Renounce engineering and become a manager." Dilbert says angrily, "NEVER!" Looking over Dilbert's shoulder, Phil says, "Your technical knowledge is getting stale. You're becoming a generalist . . . take the easy path." Phil is holding a set of software boxes. He says to Dilbert, "I brought you a suite of applications that ll work together." Dilbert yells, "THAT'S UNNATURAL!!! BE GONE!!!"