Everything You Say Comic Strips - Page 3
1000 Results for Everything You Say
View 21 - 30 results for everything you say comic strips. Discover the best "Everything You Say" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 19, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: You can't copyright the static on blank TV channels! Dogbert: "I already did." Dilbert: "You can't let my company pay fifty billion dollars to buy your so-called film library." Dogbert: "I already am." Dilbert: "I may have to blow the whistle on this deal." DOgbert: "It'll have to be a nose whistle - I copyrighted everything else."
Share July 07, 1994's comic on:
Ratbert: "Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." Dilbert: "Try a humming bird."
Share December 22, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert hands the Boss a report and says, "I finished our write-up for the national Millard Bullrush 'Quality' Contest." Dilbert says, "It took two weeks of otherwise productive time, and everything but our address is a lie." Dilbert asks, "Do you know what irony is?" The Boss replies, "I send my shirts to a service."
Share August 12, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert hands a document to the Boss, who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "As you requested, I dropped everything and wrote my career development plan." The Boss reads from the plan, "I plan to bounce from one artificial emergency to another, like a ping-pong ball in a clothes dryer, until one day I resign." Dilbert says, "Here I'm using humor to make a point . . ." The Boss yells, "Fax this to HR now!!"
Share November 07, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert enters the office kitchen where a man is putting a sign on the coffee maker that says, "Coffee maker." Dilbert asks, "Why are you putting a sign on the coffee maker?" The man says, "It's an ISO 9000 requirement. Everything must be clearly labeled. There can be no exceptions." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The man walks away saying, "Believe me, I don't like it any more than you do." The man's shirt has a label on the back that says, "Stupid label guy."
Share April 06, 1996's comic on:
Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I quit my job as vice president of marketing . . ." Ratbert continues, "I was losing my scruples . . . becoming unscrupulous. Yes, I learned a valuable lesson about scruples." Dilbert asks, "And that lesson would be?" Ratbert answers, "It's fun to say 'scruples.'"
Share August 30, 1996's comic on:
Ratbert sits on top of Dilbert's monitor and says, "I've become one of those people who misinterprets everything you say." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Ratbert says, "Why? Are you saying that nothing should ever change? Maybe you shouldn't be so rigid." Dilbert says, "This could be very annoying." Ratbert replies, "Maybe you should see a therapist for your emotional problem."
Share August 31, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert and Ratbert walk through the house. Dogbert says, "I hear you're becoming an annoying person who misinterprets everything." Ratbert replies, "Yes, I'm more assertive." Dogbert says, "I said annoying, not assertive." Ratbert says, "Apology accepted." They stand at the top of the cellar stairs. Dogbert opens the dryer door and says, "Whatever you do, don't climb in this clothes dryer." Ratbert says, "Yeah, it does look cozy in there."
Share June 19, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I need your help. I keep getting invited to worthless meetings and I can't say no." Dilbert continues, "YOU can say no to anything. You have such a clearly defined sense of self-interest." Dilbert asks, "Will you teach me to be like you?" Dogbert replies, "Nope . . . can't be bothered."
Share July 04, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert and woman walking wearing coats. Woman says, "I don't understand why you like the things you like." Woman continues, "I'm forced to conclude that you're socially defective." Woman and Dilbert walking over cobblestone bridge. Dilbert says, "Isn't it normal for people to have unique preferences?" Woman responds, "Do you have to argue with EVERYTHING I say?!"