Excuses Comic Strips - Page 3
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63 Results for Excuses
View 21 - 30 results for excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 10,
2009
Tags job, excuses, argument, depressed, conversation, business
Transcript
Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"
Tuesday May 26,
2009
Tags excuses, lying down, table, reading, agenda, sleeping, lazy
Transcript
Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz
Monday June 01,
2009
Tags sitting, complaining, confessing, excuses, angry
Transcript
Wally says, "I couldn't do any work this week because my project doesn't have a charge code." Wally says, "The chargeback group won't answer my e-mails, and our ethics rules forbid me from using a false code." Wally says, "It's another failure of management, but I know you can do better next week."
Wednesday August 12,
2009
Tags procrastination, excuses, asking, frustrated, ridiculous
Transcript
Wally says, "If I don't have enough time to do things right, should I just do nothing?" Wally says, "Or do you prefer that I miss deadlines, or do shoddy work, or pray for divine intervention?" The boss says, "I want everything fast and perfect." Wally says, "Can I buy a prayer rug?"
Tuesday August 25,
2009
Tags excuses, ridiculous, explaining, software, reassurance, angry, annoyed, lazy, engineering
Transcript
Wally says, "My productivity software turned on me." Wally says, "It keeps crashing my computer. But that's okay because I don't need a computer to do my job." Wally says, "Do you have any assignments that are sort of pre-industrial?"
Tuesday September 22,
2009
Tags telling, confused, relinquish, change, excuses, reasoning
Transcript
The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
Monday October 12,
2009
Tags asking, project, procrastination, excuses, stupidity, lying
Transcript
The boss says, "Wally, are you done with your project yet?" Wally says, "I'll be done next week." The Boss says ,"You've said, 'Next week' for seven weeks in a row. What makes you think I'm going to believe it this time?" Wally says, "The first six times?"
Tuesday October 20,
2009
Tags meeting, asking, project, procrastination, excuses, blame, distraction, annoyed, frustrated, business
Transcript
The boss says, "Wally, you didn't e-mail me your project status." Wally says, "Did you check your spam folder?" Wally says, "Maybe you should check there before you besmirch my good name with your baseless accusations." The Boss says, "Did you send it?" Wally says, "Okay, I see how you're trying to turn this around."
Friday November 13,
2009
Tags sitting, reprimand, discipline, excuses, explaining, raises, news, budget, money
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, when you don't give 100%, it's unfair to your co-workers who have to pick up the slack." Wally says, "Actually, I'm pretty sure they like having less competition for raises." The Boss says, "There's no budget for raises this year." Wally says, "Yeah, I wouldn't mention that to the others."
Thursday December 03,
2009
Tags avoidance, noise, concentration, presentation, laziness, excuses
Transcript
Wally says, "My cubicle is surrounded by loud idiots who make it impossible for me to concentrate on my work." The Boss says, "Did you create a presentation on why you couldn't do the presentation you're supposed to be doing?" Wally says, "Yes" The Boss says, "Wouldn't it have been just as easy to create the actual presentation?" Wally says, "I'm hoping to use this this one more than once."

