Explaining Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
47 Results for Explaining
View 21 - 30 results for explaining comic strips. Discover the best "Explaining" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 09,
2009
Tags meeting, explaining, angry, confronting, annoyed, business
Transcript
The boss says, "Last week I attended the circle of excellence conference for managers." Alice says, "So, while we were doing actual work, you sat in a circle with a bunch of managers?" The boss says, "It wasn't like that." Alice says, "Oh, I think it was."
Tuesday June 16,
2009
Tags meeting, explaining, pirate, plan, scheme, uncertainty, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm taking a side job as a pirate." Dogbert says, "I'll kidnap employees and authorize huge ransom payments to myself for their return." The boss says, "Then you'll return them safely?" Dogbert says, "That's a different business model."
Tuesday August 18,
2009
Tags sitting, explaining, plan, delivery, stuck, arrow
Transcript
The Boss says, "I found a less expensive delivery service for our oversees business packages." The boss says, "Find someone who is traveling to the same country as the package, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, and hide the package under his hat." Carol thinks, "The first day of any new system is always a problem."
Wednesday August 19,
2009
Tags meeting, rating, performance, reviews, attributes, explaining, ridiculous, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We have new software for performance reviews." The boss says, "It has a category for everything." The boss says. "Fish-faced nincompoop! Bingo!"
Monday August 24,
2009
Tags sitting, meeting, explaining, project, annoyed, angry, lazy, wasting, time, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."
Tuesday August 25,
2009
Tags excuses, ridiculous, explaining, software, reassurance, angry, annoyed, lazy, engineering
Transcript
Wally says, "My productivity software turned on me." Wally says, "It keeps crashing my computer. But that's okay because I don't need a computer to do my job." Wally says, "Do you have any assignments that are sort of pre-industrial?"
Friday October 09,
2009
Tags asking, approval, bureaucracy, avoiding, explaining, discouraged
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Did the executive steering committee approve my project?" The boss says, "We agreed on a predecisional draft framework for making the decision." Dilbert says, "Does that mean anything?" The Boss says, "It depends what you mean by 'Anything.'"
Tuesday October 27,
2009
Tags asking, bonus, project, explaining, pandemic
Transcript
Asok says, "If I do a great job with the pandemic contingency planning, can I have a bonus?" The Boss says, "I won't know if you did a great job unless we actually have a pandemic emergency." Asok says, "So?if there is a pandemic, I might get a bonus?" The boss says, "I don't like where this is heading."
Monday November 02,
2009
Tags sitting, meeting, drugs, medicing, explaining, screaming, scared, stupidity, suggestion, business
Transcript
Man says, "My prescription meds cause drowsiness." Man says, "So I got a second prescription that causes phantom-hand syndrome to slap me at random intervals." Alice says, "Maybe you should use a doctor who has less-effective pharmaceutical reps in his territory." Man says, "Fist!"
Tuesday November 03,
2009
Tags doctor, medicine, explaining, Men, growing, wings, side effect, medical
Transcript
Man says, "I need you to take these pills because the pharmaceutical rep is smoking hot." Man says, "It might have some side effects, but the 'Guy code' says you have to be my wingman if I ask." Dilbert says, "Apparently he subscribes to a literal interpretation of the guy code."


