Failed Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

50 Results for Failed

View 21 - 30 results for failed comic strips. Discover the best "Failed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #written objectives, #hidden objectives, #smothered with defectiveness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, you have failed to achieve any of your written objectives." The Boss continues, "But by pure chance you achieved all of my hidden objectives." The Boss hands Wally a piece of paper and says, "Here's another project I need smothered with defectiveness." Wally responds, "I'm all over it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #peggy pr dircetor, #press release, #technical accuracy, #trained squirrel, #run on sentences, #transparent lies, #spelling grammar, #errors, #criticism stronger

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and a woman approach Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Peggy the P.R. Director." The Boss continues, "I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy." Peggy presents a document to Dilbert. Dilbert sits and reads it. Peggy watches his reaction. Dilbert asks, "Who wrote this? A trained squirrel?" He continues, "I don't know where to begin." Peggy gets angry as Dilbert takes a pen to the press release. Dilbert says, "I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first." Dilbert continues, "Then the failed attempts at cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar." Dilbert returns the press release to a Peggy, who is furious. Dilbert adds, "There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger." Dilbert is at home how, clothes torn to shreds, arm in a sling, head bandaged. To Dogbert, he says, "It was a mistake to make her stronger."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Let's use our process to figure out why Project Wolverine failed. "There was only one reason: Management discourages employees from voicing opinions." "Wananagewent dutchcourages uth. Boo hoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

You've been acting strangely lately. Maybe you should cut down on the coffee. "You have failed me. Feel the power of the force!" erk! "Bad dream?" "I wouldn't call it bad!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

All attempts to train you have failed. "But I don't want to fire you because there's a hiring freeze and I can't backfill." "So I've decided to scale back your responsibilities." "Where do you want these?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your blog has become an embarrassment to the company." "You have failed me. Now you must pay the price." "Oh, crud. I need you to call the facilities department for me...and come back tomorrow." snap

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #ignorance (knowledge), #product features, #hodge podge, #complexity, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added all of the product features that each of you demanded. Now our product is a worthless hodgepodge of complexity. I appreciate your input. I couldn't have failed without you. Boss: Teamwork!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #angry, #annoyed, #motivate, #fail, #read face, #wave hand, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Once again, you have failed to motivate me." Wally says, "You said we shouldn't be motivated by money, so I'm waiting for the new thing to kick in." Wally says, "I'm not good at reading faces, but I think there's something happening over in this region."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deliver bad news, #meet goals, #fire an engineer, #sales people, #immoral, #punish engineers, #hole puncher

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is walking and thinking, "Sometimes a manager must deliver bad news." The boss, behind Dilbert, thinks, "Luckily I enjoy it." The boss says, "Our sales force failed to meet their goals." The boss continues, "So I have to fire an engineer to reduce expenses." Dilbert says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You should fire the incompetent sales people!" Dilber continues, "It's immoral to punish innocent engineers for the sins of sales people! I will fight this all the way!" The boss says, "I'm firing Ted. Not you." Dilbert says, "Fair enough. Can you wait until I borrow his hole puncher?"