Fake Excuses Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

142 Results for Fake Excuses

View 21 - 30 results for fake excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fake disability leave, #missed camaraderie, #stimulating conversation, #didn't know gone, #not missed

View Transcript

Transcript

With Dilbert's back turned facing his computer, Wally says "I came back early from my fake disability leave." Wally continues, "I missed the camaraderie and the stimulating conversation." Dilbert replies without turning to face Wally, "I didn't know you were gone." Wally replies, "Not bad for a Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #hawaiian shirt day, #dishing punishment, #perks, #fake smile

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I declare next Friday to be 'Hawaiian Shirt Day'." Wally says as The Boss smiles, "Hey, you're disguising punishments as perks!" The Boss says to Catbert, "They're on to us." Catbert asks, "Did you try the fake smile?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #criminal record, #police, #fake name, #quality of assignments, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "Wally, now that you have a criminal record, I can't let you work on anything important." Wally replies, "I don't have a criminal record. I gave the police a fake name." Wally approaches Asok the Intern at his desk and says, "You might notice a change in the quality of your assignments."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #chapter 11, #profits are fake, #sold all stock, #diversifying investments, #bankruptcy, #files for bankruptcy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Ha ha! We're filing for chapter 11 because all of our so-called profits are fake." The Boss continues, "I'm laughing because I sold all of my stock the same day I heard that our CFO did." Alice shuts her eyes and clenches her teeth in anger. Alice stands up and yells, " You said he was just diversifying his investments!" The Boss responds, " It sounds funny now."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lazy beaver, #excuses, #doesnt return calls, #making excuses, #more jobs, #future jobs, #scamming, #both sdies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide of the beaver and says, "The project is behind schedule because our contractor is a lazy beaver." Dilbert says to The Boss, "For a while he was making up excuses. Now, he doesn't return calls." The Boss replies, "What's your plan?" Dilbert says, "I hope to get him back to making up excuses by promising him more jobs in the future."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #sycophant school, #agree with superiors, #make statements, #fake smiles, #paid 400x more, #look at faces, #rude, #teaching, #aggressive, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

SYCOPHANT SCHOOL "You must learn to agree with your superiors no matter what they say." "For practice, I'll make statements and you agree. Remember to use your fake smiles." "Statement one: I should be paid 400 times more than you because I have to look at your faces."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #proactive, #boring meeting, #fake death, #coffee is posioned, #stiffen, #easier to drag, #pose, #obscene, #spread eagle, #casket, #dispose of body, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits in a metting between Dilbert and Alice. Wally thinks, "I'll have to be proactive to escape this boring meeting." Wally takes a sip from his coffee and thinks, "I'll fake my own death and hope someone drags me into the hallway." Wally says, "Ack!! My coffee is poisoned!" Wally lies on the ground feet in the air. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should drag him into the hallway." Alice says, "No." Alice says, "Let's wait for him to stiffen. Then he'll be easier to drag." Ted says, "We should pose him before he stiffens." Dilbert says, "Something obscene?" Alice says, "Or spread eagle, so he won't fit in a casket." Wally lies on the grouns arms and legs wide with his coffe cup pearched on his face and thinks, "It never pays to be the proactive one."