Falling Apart Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

37 Results for Falling Apart

View 21 - 30 results for falling apart comic strips. Discover the best "Falling Apart" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #project, #falling death spiral, #selfish weasels, #mood altering, #doctor is better

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide, "My project is in a flaming death spiral, thanks to you lazy, selfish weasels." Dilbert continues, "But I'm feeling terrific because I'm taking mood-altering prescription drugs!" Dilbert continues, "I can see by your expressions that my doctor is much better than yours!" He points fingers from both hands and exclaims, "Hoo-wah!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #entrpenuer, #bullying, #lying, #manipulation, #verbal abuse, #huge jerk, #biograophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Jeff, the human ashtray "Watch out for that hole in the ground!" "That's not a hole. It's just a dark spot on the floor from some of your ash falling there." "Oh." "I can't tell the difference between my ash and a hole in the ground." "Dilbert, did you meet your new boss?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #decisons, #office, #options, #blame later, #evil, #record on phone. boss, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #unholy alliance, #plan, #meeting room, #love, #cheese, #happy, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I propose an unholy alliance." Carol says, "You have my attention." Wally says, "Reserve every meeting room under my name for the year. That way you won't need to do any scheduling, and I won't need to attend any meetings." Wally says, "Don't panic; that strange feeling is you falling in love with me." Carol says, "It feels like I'm eating cheese!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #stealing, #talking, #falling, #teamwork, #quick, #stunned, #shocked, #surprised, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Employee theft is on the rise because of the economy." Foop! Foop! The boss says, "They finally figured out how to work as a team."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's school of management." "In today's lesson you will learn how to get your employees to do the impossible." "I have issued to each of you one large rock for practice." "Throw your rock in the air and demand that it stay there without falling." "Offer some non-monetary compensation to your rock to incent it." "If your rock refuses to comply, try yelling at it. Go." bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" bonk! - "OW!" "For those of you who stood directly below your rock, congratulations. Pick up your diploma on the way out."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #sleeping & waking up, #work ethic, #aggressive recruiter, #passive job seeker, #hidden gems, #passive, #falling in love

View Transcript

Transcript

Recruiter: I'm an aggressive recruiter looking for passive job seekers. Passive job seekers are hidden gems for recruiters, and you're the most passive one I've ever seen. Stop making me love you! Wally: ZZZZZZ.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #stress, #10 thousand attendees, #don't be stressed, #nervous, #fall apart, #speech, #large audience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I want you to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. You'll be great. Don't get stressed. I said "don't."