Fat Ass Comic Strips - Page 3
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38 Results for Fat Ass
View 21 - 30 results for fat ass comic strips. Discover the best "Fat Ass" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 09,
1997
Tags #telecommunters, #eat anytime, #wild animals, #tranquilizer darts, #flatbed, #giant shoehorn
Transcript
A fat Alice looks in the refrigerator and thinks, "Telecommuters can eat any time they want, just like wild animals." Alice lies on the couch and thinks, "There's only one way they'll ever get me back in the cubicle." The Boss looks at a chart and says, "Here's the plan. You'll need tranquilizer darts, a flatbed truck, and giant shoehorn." Asok says, "No harpoon?"
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Friday November 06,
1998
Tags #big fat guy, #blob, #condescending, #creative director, #foster innovation, #new hire
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, Id like you to meet the humorless blob I hired. Blob is our new creative director. His job is to foster innovation. Dilbert: I have some ideas. Blob: Whoa, loose cannon.
Saturday November 07,
1998
Tags #presentation, #humorless blobs, #room full, #no humor, #big fat men
Transcript
The Presentation Dilbert: This cartoon says it all! Hee Hee! Uh-oh. I just realized you're all humorless blobs. Blob1: Join us, Dilbert, Be a blob. Blob2: Yes....humor is uncalled for.
Sunday June 18,
1995
Tags #crossfire, #cnn, #only creature, #televsion, #each me, #debate, #television, #same desires, #experiences, #disagree, #stupid, #over silplfying, #Opinion, #Entertainment
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk next to Dogbert. Ratbert enters and says, "I've been invited to be a guest on 'Crossfire' on CNN." Ratbert says, "I'm the only creature on earth who hasn't already been on television." Ratbert asks, "Can you teach me how to debate on television, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "First, Ratbert, assume everybody has the same desires and experiences as you." Ratbert touches his head and says, "Absorb absorb." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, if they disagree with you they must be stupid." Dilbert says, "I think you're over-simplifying, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "What was that opinion, Ratbert?" Ratbert replies, "Stupid!" Dogbert says, "You're ready for 'Crossfire,' Ratbert." Ratbert says, "I usually like the same movies as the fat one."
Sunday December 10,
1995
Tags #help desk, #reengineered, #out of existence, #never call again, #pie chart, #crush computer, #ass flour, #bake one hour, #free novel, #manual, #repeat process
Transcript
A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."
Sunday February 23,
1997
Tags #dread, #staff meeting, #describe accomplishments, #amazing success, #wally ville, #ass fell asleep
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss thinks, "I dread this part of the staff meeting." The Boss says, "Let's go around the table and describe our accomplishments for the week. Wally?" Wally replies, "It was another week of amazing success in Wallyville." Wally continues, "On Monday I realized my left bun had fallen asleep." Wally continues, "I was shocked. The 'Boys' had always worked as a team before." Wally leans to the side and continues, "Thinking quickly, I shifted my weight to my right bun and hoped for the best." Alice says, "That's your left side, not your right." Wally replies, "That's the other thing; apparently the boys switched sides sometime during the night." The Boss covers his face with his hands.
Saturday June 24,
2000
Tags #worst date ever, #whats on ground, #bends over, #check out ass, #not so good
Transcript
Ming and Dilbert are walking together as Ming talks on her cell phone. "Yeah, I'm having the worst date ever. I'll check." Ming asks Dilbert, "What's that on the ground? It looks interesting?" Dilbert bends down tolook. Ming begins talking on her cell phone again. "Not so good."
Thursday December 09,
2004
Tags #video compression, #electrical engineer, #only non engineeer, #stating obvious, #condescending
Transcript
Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."
Wednesday October 05,
2005
Tags #harpoon, #ass, #secretary, #donut eating, #remove, #annual review
Transcript
"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."
Thursday July 19,
2007
Tags #employee orientation, #no time, #exercise, #long hours, #trans fat, #positive note, #payroll dedcution, #service, #save money, #dirt, #cubicle, #burial site, #health
Transcript
Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."
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