Search Results for "female"
Share January 19, 1999's comic on:
Wally is being interviewed on tv. The female news anchor says, "Wally, tell our viewers how your internet start-up got so hot." Wally says, "Beats me. I was wondering how YOU got so hot. I'm burning up over here!" The interviewer says, "It says here you were an engineer." Wally says, "Is my ponytail doing anything for you?"
Share December 07, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert, the boss and a male employee are sitting at a table. The employee who has a lap-top in front of him says: "You're all idiots. I quit!" The male employee is typing on his lap-top and says: "There ... I found a higher paying job two miles away. Adios, suckers." A female employee standing between Dilbert and the boss says: "I'm the new web designer. I hear you're idiots. Where's the ethernet jack?"
Share November 22, 2000's comic on:
Holding a binder in his hands, Wally thinks, "I hate working for tips." A female employee says, "No, I ordered the R.F.P." Wally says to the employee, "Maybe you were thinking R.F.P. but you said spec binder, you arrogant cow!" The employee grimaces as she holds the binder and Wally thinks, "With any luck, she'll say, 'You had me at cow'."
Share February 02, 2001's comic on:
A female employee says to The Boss and Wally, "The results of our customer satisfaction survey are in." The female employee says, "83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration." Asok the Intern, The Boss and Wally listen as the female employee continues, "We're calling that group 'The Lucky Ones'."
Share April 12, 2001's comic on:
The boss is facing protesters who are carrying signs with a peace sign and a slogan, "Stop Drilling." A protester says, "You're ruining the pristine beauty of Elbonia!" The boss holds up a picture of a barren tree. The boss says, "This is a picture of pristine Elbonia." The protesters are putting the signs in the trunk of a car. A female protester says, "..And then you said, 'It doesn't matter if we see it first.' Then I said..."
Share September 26, 2001's comic on:
Share October 30, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."
Share December 15, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"
Share March 07, 2002's comic on:
Tina approaches Dilbert with her arms and face stiff. She says, "Someone accused me of having hostile body language." Tina continues, "I'm not allowed to cross my arms or stare or move my eyebrows or frown." Tina walks past and says, "Have a nice day." Dilbert responds, "Too late."
Share March 16, 2002's comic on:
A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."