Fifty Hours A Day Comic Strips - Page 3
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Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.
Alice: Don't talk to me now, Im trying to think. ONE HOUR LATER Alice: Im on the phone. TWO HOURS LATER Alice: Im late for a meeting. THREE HOURS LATER Alice: Come back when Im not busy. FOUR HOURS LATER ALICE: Please. Im trying to eat my lunch. FIVE HOURS LATER Alice: Okay. this is a perfect time, what can I do for you? Dilbert: Okay, so.... ring Alice: I think your problem is bad timing.
Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.
Dilbert sits at his desk assembling a gadget. Dogbert says, "Good news: the 'all-you-can-eat" salad joint just decided to stay open twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "We can get a table by the window and live there for the rest of our lives - for only $5.95 apiece!" Dilbert asks, "How would we bathe?" Dogbert replies, "They have little 'moist towelettes.'"
Dilbert sits at his desk reading a memo. Dilbert reads, "Urgent memo to all employees:" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. Looks important." Dilbert continues reading, "If we are to remain competitive, you must proactively improve quality on all actionable items!" Dilbert says, "Wow! That was inspiring. My heart is pounding. I'm all tingly . . . I'd better take the rest of the day off . . ."
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"
Dilbert sits at a desk working on his computer while Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs watch. Dilbert says, "You dinosaurs have probably never seen a computer." Dilbert continues, "This makes me so efficient I can save hours every day." Bob asks, "What do you do with all the spare time?" Dilbert replies, "I work on the computer." Bob says, "Wow! Then you can save even more time!"
Dilbert sits up in bed, groans and thinks, "It's 6 a.m. and time for another oppressive day of meaningless toil . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . Today is Saturday . . ." Dilbert lies back down and thinks, "I am the happiest man on the planet earth."
Dawn: We have to be firm with little Rex. Watch me, Bob. Rex, behave or I'll spank you! Rex: If you spank me. I'll become a bitter and resentful child. And forget you on mother's day. Rex: I think we understand each other now. Bob: Is father's day still a go?
Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "When I conquer the earth . . . Will it be more efficient to put all humans in prison . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, ". . . Or train them as domestic servants for dogs?" Dilbert watches Dogbert from the doorway and thinks, "It's amazing how dogs can sit for hours thinking absolutely nothing."