Finance Comic Strips - Page 3

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38 Results for Finance

View 21 - 30 results for finance comic strips. Discover the best "Finance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blindfold, #carbs, #cublicle, #heinous crime, #put new guy, #won't know blind fold, #finance troll

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HECK were out of space boss. we've had a big upswing in people who use cell phone is bathrooms. Dang, Ive got a new guy coming in today, where will I put him? Maybe you could ask your brother,,, HMM... The boss: well, I suppose you could put hum in a cubicle. his crime wasn't that heinous, well, if you blind fold him, he won't know he's in a cubicle. so then I find pout its not okay to eat carbs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retail business, #sales drop, #retail stores, #self checkout, #dumb customers, #most shoplifted

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Finance Troll: Our sales have dropped to zero in retail stores that have self-checkout. Apparently the people who are dumb enough to want our product are too dumb to know how to use the self-checkout. On a positive note, we have the most shoplifted product of the year. Boss: Yes!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing

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Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce budget

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've been asked to reduce our budget. I'm going to offer to cut your project because it's the most critical." The Boss continues, "The finance guys won't dare cut that project. My ploy will spare us from any cuts at all." Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I panic." The Boss says, "Tell me again what your project is about. They might ask."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sign, #business case, #web server, #crosses all deaportments, #every director, #evp, #ted griffin, #half eagle, #half lion

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Dilbert asks the Boss, "Who needs to sign my business case to buy a web server?" The Boss says, "Hmm . . . This crosses all departments. I fear it. Get the approval of every director, every VP, every EVP, plus Griffin." As Dilbert walks away he asks, "Do you mean Ted Griffin in finance or the mythical griffin beast that's half eagle, half lion?" The Boss answers, "Whichever is harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fiance dept, #reduce costs, #short sighted ways, #save money, #job harder, #forget

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Ratbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I'm from the finance department. I'm here to reduce costs." Ratbert continues, "It might seem like all I do is come up with short-sighted ways to save money while making your job harder. But there's another side to this story." Wally asks, "And that would be . . . ?" Ratbert answers, "I forget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feeling of doom, #room mate, #Dilbert, #fiancee department, #budget, #square footage

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Why do I have a feeling of impending doom?" The Boss peeks into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Good news!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss says, "You won't have to spend another lonely day in this tiny cubicle." Dilbert asks, "I'm getting an office?" The Boss replies, "Better! You're getting a roommate!" Dilbert shouts, "Why??? We've got plenty of empty cubicles! Our company owns the whole building!" The Boss says, "The finance department charges my budget for the square footage we use." Dilbert looks over the cubicle wall and says to the Boss, "It's a false savings! You're hurting the company!" The Boss walks away thinking, "All I hear is a faint buzzing." Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Oh, well. How bad could it be?" A man wearing a cowboy hat and carrying a can of beans and a radio says, "I hope you like baked beans and square-dancing as much as I do!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bowels of bureaucarzy, #payroll error, #crawling, #underground, #trolls, #bugs, #bones, #glaring, #hellish

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Asok: I don't like the looks of this. BUREACRACY ASOK: I only want to correct a small payroll error. Can you help me? Troll: does it help if I glare ar you for disturbing my lunch?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated

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Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decions, #dark demon, #ineffective management, #help deciosn, #requested smitting

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"Uh-oh, someone wants me to make a decision." "I summon the dark demon of ineffective management to smite the person who wants this decision!!!" "Maybe I could help you make the decision." "I requested smiting."