Flaming Squirrels Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

28 Results for Flaming Squirrels

View 21 - 28 results for flaming squirrels comic strips. Discover the best "Flaming Squirrels" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina seems mad at you. What's that about?" "She thought I did something rude, but when she found out I didn't, she still had residual anger." "I wonder what it's like to have squirrels living in your skull."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #emails, #high priority, #entire week, #working, #feeding squirrel, #east entrance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: All of your e-mails this week were marked as highest priority. "So I spent the entire week working on the first one." "Next week I plan to continue not feeding the squirrels by the east entrance."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #conversation, #cruelty, #ridicule, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I gave the same assignment to all the employees who look like you." The boss says, "A blind squirrel is more likely to find a nut if there are a lot of blind squirrels." the boss says, "That sounded cruel allow me to rephrase it." the boss says, "I meant vision-impaired squirrels."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correspondence, #rodents, #dilbert seeks asylum at elbonia's embassy, #embassy, #Peanut, #squirrel, #secret message

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert seeks asylum at Elbonia's embassy Elbonian: We don't have a lot of fancy technology in our embassy. If you want to send a message to the outside world, carve it on a peanut and give it to a squirrel. Dilbert: The squirrel would eat the peanut. Elbonian: Wow! You do not trust squirrels.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #lawyers, #simple business deal, #best work, #backyard

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: I turned your simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement. It's some of my best work. I don't even understand it myself. Boss: Look what just landed in your backyard. Company Lawyer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypothetical, #worst-case scenario, #pessimism, #nightmare

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What's the worst-case scenario? Dilbert: A rogue nation could insert a cyberweapon on our software. The virus could destroy all technology on Earth. Lacking the means to communicate over great distances, single people would only be able to marry people who lived nearby. I could end up marrying your daughter. That would make you my father-in-law and my boss. That nightmare would cause me to denounce humankind and go live in a park, naked, with a family of squirrels. When winter came, I would be forced to strangle the squirrels, one by one, to make myself a coat. I can't tan leather, so that would be a senseless tragedy. Boss: Let's try to avoid that.

Lawyer Can't Be Too Careful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lawyer Can't Be Too Careful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #lawyers, #office, #agreement, #legalese

View Transcript

Transcript

company lawyer: i made seven hundred suggested changes to the agreement. dilbert: you have turned a good income opportunity into a flaming cesspool of impenetrable legalese. company lawyer: you can't be too careful. dilbert: i think you just proved we can.

Hate Edits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hate Edits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #office workers, #sarcasm, #edit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I didn't like your analysis, so I made some hate-edits. Man: What's a hate-edit? Dilbert: You'll see. Man: You changed "in my opinion" to "according to the squirrels in my skull." Dilbert: There you go.