Flex Hours Comic Strips - Page 3

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202 Results for Flex Hours

View 21 - 30 results for flex hours comic strips. Discover the best "Flex Hours" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #consulting form, #bushel, #money, #twenty hours of work, #good reasons, #clients, #travel

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Ratbert sits on top of a dresser. A man in a suit stands holdinga basket full of dollar bills. The man says, "Come work for our consulting firm and you will get this bushel of money." The man says, "All we want in return is twenty hours of work each day..." The man says, "...With clients who hate you for a variety of good reasons." Ratbert says, "At least there's no travel right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #downtrodden cubicle workers, #form union, #working conditions, #salaried workers, #against law, #no overtime, #no security, #spines, #demand bigger cucbilce, #union dues, #long hours, #strap on spines

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"Hear me, all downtrodden cubicle workers!" "I have come to form a union to improve your working conditions!" "We can't join a union. We're salaried." "I think it's against the law, or something." "You've got long hours, no overtime, shrinking benefits and no job security. You must act now!" "You're confusing us with people who have spines." "Don't worry, I brought strap-on porta-spines for everybody." "I demand a bigger cubicle!" "Nobody will take advantage of us ever again!" "Now, let's talk about union dues." "Fair enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #cahnges, #corporate culture, #longer hours, #without pay, #management says same, #team, #vapid slogans, #notepads, #useless meetings, #culture change, #fad menu, #rule by fear, #business

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've decided to make some changes to our corporate culture." Wally says, "Let me guess what that means." Wally continues, "We'll work longer hours without extra pay . . ." Wally continues, "Your management style will remain exactly the same because Lord knows there's no need for YOU to change." Dilbert adds, "We'll start calling ourselves a 'team' so it doesn't seem like work!" Alice covers her eyes and says, "I predict there will be vapid slogans printed on notepads, and maybe some useless meetings." Dilbert says, "She's psychic!" Dilbert asks, "Is is just me or is the culture already changing?" Wally shouts, "I feel it! We're changing!" Wally looks at the agenda and asks, "What's next on the fad menu?" The Boss thinks, "I wonder if it's too late to rule by fear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #long range planner, #impossible evaluation, #flex-time, #supposed to work, #internet connection n, #telecommute, #not pollute, #give a hoot, #losers, #demanded relocation, #no budget, #poodle graohics, #big raise

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want to be our new 'Long Range Planner,' Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Because 'long range' is very far away . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Therefore it will be impossible to evaluate my performance." Dogbert continues, "If it's not too much to ask, I'd like to be on flex-time so you'll never know if I'm supposed to be at work." Dogbert continues, "I'll need an Internet connection at home so I can telecommute and not pollute. Because I give a hoot." Dogbert continues, "Also, I'd like to be in a group with lots of losers. That way I'll get the biggest riase when we're ranked." The Boss says, "You're hired. All of the other applicants demanded relocation expenses and I have no budget for that." Dogbert stands at a desk. Dilbert asks, "Why do I have to work while you just look for poodle graphics on the Internet?" Dogbert says, "Don't work too hard; I'd like a big raise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 1996's comic on:


Tags #barry, #epic mini series, #hundreds of hours, #quitters, #retrospect, #special bonus, #staring at computer

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The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "It's my honor to present this special bonus check to Barry." Alice turns to the man next to her and says, "That's you." The man stares straight ahead as he replies, "MY name is Barry??" The Boss says, "This is for working hundreds of hours of overtime." The Boss continues, "While you quitters were going home by 9 pm every night . . ." The Boss continues, "Barry remained at work staring at his computer for hours." Barry eats the bonus check. The Boss continues, "It's important to recognize extra effort." The Boss continues, "Sadly, that's the end of the special bonus budget for the year." Barry burps. Wally says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have told Barry that his screen saver is an epic miniseries." Dilbert and Alice glare at him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bug in software, #alert, #work many hours, #buy stock in competition, #industry halo effect, #compensation plan

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Wally sits at his desk thinking, "Whoa . . . I found a huge bug in our new software product." Wally thinks, "I could alert the development team and work many hours of overtime to fix it . . ." Wally thinks, "Or I could surf over to my online brokerage service and buy stock in our competition." Dilbert asks, "Are you going to lunch?" Wally replies, "No, I have to do an analysis." Dilbert walks away thinking, "When Wally works through lunch . . . It's time to buy stock in our competition." Dilbert tells Alice, "Wally's working through lunch!" Alice says, "Quick! To the online brokerage service!" The Boss reads the newspaper and thinks, "Our competition is up ten points on no news. We're up two, maybe from the industry halo effect." The Boss tells Alice and Wally, ". . . Or maybe our new compensation plan is motivating smarter behavior." Wally says, "I think you nailed it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours, #business

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The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #call center, #hire you, #challenge, #inhumane working conditions, #without break, #four hours

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The Boss: So, mister rather, why should I hire you to work in my call center? Ratbert: I thrive on the challenge of inhumane working conditions. Watch me go without a rest room break for four hours, The Boss: You're hired.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional family, #worthless, #seventy hours, #weekly, #more like you, #screams at worker

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The boss is sitting across from a terrified looking person. The boss says, "I understand that you were raised in a dysfunctional family." The man says, "Yes" The boss yells, "You're gonna work seventy hours a week or you're worthless!!" The man says, "You love me." The boss says, "Are there any more like you at home?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #deadlines, #finish on time, #forty hours, #good news, #bad news, #boss, #Dilbert

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Dilbert sits at his computer as The Boss says, "Good news: The deadline got pushed back a week." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Good news?! I've been working for forty hours straight to finish on time!" The Boss thinks, "I just realized I don't know the difference between good news and bad news."