Forced To Wear Clamps Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for forced to wear clamps comic strips. Discover the best "Forced To Wear Clamps" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #individual contributor, #job description, #wear huge glasses

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Dilbert is talking to a woman. She asks, "Are you a manager?" Dilbert responds, "No, I'm an individual contributor." The woman says, "So, basically, you have the same job description as an ant?" Dilbert responds, "I'd like to see an ant try to wear huge glasses like these!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #turned into sheep, #wear as sweater, #advice not ridicule, #pushy sheep, #bright side, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "...And the next thing I knew, I'd been turned into a sheep." Dilbert's mom replies, "On the bright side, I won't need to remind you to wear a sweater." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for advice, not ridicule." Dilbert's mom replies, "No one likes a pushy sheep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change happens, #kickboxing, #reverse sheep effect, #reverse sheep effecte, #wear pants

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The Garbageman says to Dilbert, "You can reverse the sheep effect by signing up for a kickboxing class." The Garbageman continues, "The change will happen quickly, so be prepared." Dilbert responds, "Umm.. Okay." Dilbert is in the middle of a kickboxing class. He transforms back into a human, loses all of his wool, and finds himself naked. Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly I realize he meant 'wear pants.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #war on waste, #wear shirt, #honk, #blow nose, #program

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The Boss picks up a T-Shirt that says "Wow" and exclaims, "Each of you will get a shirt as part of my war on waste program!" Dilbert responds, "I wouldn't wear that shirt at home or in the office, so what good is..." Wally blows his nose loudly into a shirt, "Honk!" Dilbert says, "Oh. Nevermind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian call center, #software in stock, #wear pants, #porcelain unicorn

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Elbonian Call Center "We don't have that software in stock." "But may I interest you in a set of porcelain unicorn figurines that wear pants?" "Really? Wow. Your country has way too much money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approval, #new safety manual, #wear protective gloves, #safety goggles, #blood, #grabbed

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Wally: I need your approval on the new safety manual. The Boss: "Gaaa!!! Sharp edges!! Gaaa!!! It grabbed my hand!!!" Wally: "Chapter One: Wear protective gloves and safety goggles at all times." The Boss: "Aaaiieee!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walgetco, #practical purposes, #legal laibilities, #wear orange vests, #headwaurters

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"Sixty-percent of our distribution goes through Walgetco." "For all practical purposes, they now own us, except for the legal liabilities." "They'd like us to wear orange vests and bow toward their headquarters." "But no touching?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonian branch, #in my own country, #see you inperson, #mud, #work long hours, #wear dockers

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The Boss: I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country. "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" Elbonian: "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cold learning, #cruelest, #don't wear a coat, #first lesson, #good liar, #sales support engineer, #seeking advice, #how to lie

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Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exploitation, #work ethic, #territorial mud, #web page, #forced labor camps, #current job, #capture canadian

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Elbonian: Halt! You have entered the territorial mud of North Elbonia! I'll text you a link to a web page about our forced labor camps. You might like them. Dilbert: This looks better than my current job. Elbonian: No rush, but I have an appointment to capture a Canadian at eleven.