Growing Comic Strips - Page 3

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27 Results for Growing

View 21 - 27 results for growing comic strips. Discover the best "Growing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #100 million, #rickshaw driver, #pedal, #solar power, #pig without sun, #solar technology

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A man says, "We invested $100 million in your solar technology and all you developed was this ham sandwich." Dogbert says, "If you feed that ham sandwich to a rickshaw driver, he can pedal you all over town." The man says, "You call that solar power?" Dogbert says, "Try growing a pig without the sun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

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The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #medicine, #explaining, #Men, #growing, #wings, #side effect, #medical

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Man says, "I need you to take these pills because the pharmaceutical rep is smoking hot." Man says, "It might have some side effects, but the 'Guy code' says you have to be my wingman if I ask." Dilbert says, "Apparently he subscribes to a literal interpretation of the guy code."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

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Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fantasy, #money, #shrubs, #budget estimates, #spreadhseet, #ipad, #plant growing, #well fertilized

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Asok: I put your budget estimates into a spreadsheet as you asked. A well-fertilized shrub sprouted out of my iPad. What does this mean? Boss: That's how you know the budget is done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #injured ceo, #rolex watches, #steamer trunk, #freak accident, #helicopter, #yacht, #company ceo, #time flys, #having funds, #intern, #comments, #company, #employees, #office gossip, #business

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Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.