Growth Comic Strips - Page 3
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26 Results for Growth
View 21 - 26 results for growth comic strips. Discover the best "Growth" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 18,
2000
Tags #arm hair growth, #on phone, #wait in hall, #hair growing nicely, #wait for boss, #phone call, #asked to wait
Transcript
Outside the Boss's office, Carol, the Boss's secretary, tells Dilbert: "He's on the phone. You'll have to stand here and wait." She continues with her instructions to Dilbert: "Don't leave. Don't make noise. Don't try talking to me." Standing alone and waiting, Dilbert examines his arm and thinks to himself: "Arm hair LX-943 is growing nicely."
Wednesday August 04,
2004
Tags #viosnary executives, #block of wood, #foresee good numbers, #new glasses
Transcript
"Optometrist for Visionary Executives" "Look through this block of wood." "Is this better or worse?" "Better." "I forsee forty quarters of growth." "Hey, new glasses?"
Friday April 21,
2006
Sunday April 02,
2006
Tags #interview candidate, #isn't too old, #illegal ask, #telltale signs, #explosive ear hair
Transcript
Interview this candidate and make sure he isn't too old. "It's illegal to ask his age." "Just stall until you see the telltale signs of E.E.H.G." "E.E.H.G.?" "Explosive ear hair growth." "Hmm. No wrinkles. But maybe he uses moisturizers and stays out of the sun." "Wait...wait..." "Can't...hold out any...longer." "GAAA!!! Look away! Look away!" "Ha!" "Then I waited and waited...What?"
Wednesday July 16,
2014
Tags #money, #trees, #computer model, #genetically modify, #tree growth, #rare earth minerals, #run a trail, #money dents grow on trees, #fault
Transcript
Dilbert: My computer model indicates that I can genetically modify a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals. All I need is a hundred dollars to run a trial. Boss: Sorry. Money doesn't grow on trees. Dilbert: Well, now we know whose fault that is. Boss: Strangers?
Sunday December 20,
2015
Tags #jargon, #techspeak, #nonsense, #bluff, #deception, #conversation, #language
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.
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