Headcount Down Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

570 Results for Headcount Down

View 21 - 30 results for headcount down comic strips. Discover the best "Headcount Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags profits down, bring own pencils, sell them, sidewalk, beg for money, money down

View Transcript

Transcript

"Profits are down again this quarter." "That's bad." "Starting tomorrow, you'll have to bring your own pencils to the office." "That's bad." "And you'll have to sell them out on the sidewalk." "That's bad."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, filberts job security, menacing statements, one option, reducing headcount, works hard, finish project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managing, marketing group, previous manager killed, parking lot, run down, murder, apathy to murder, body on bumper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "In addition to my current duties, I'll be managing the marketing group." "The marketing job opened because the previous manager got run down in the parking lot." "When they needed a good manager, they knew where to look." Dilbert: "Under your bumper?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags algorithim, higest salries, overstatement, reduce headcount, scientific algorithm, who goes

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've been asked to reduce headcount." "To be fair about it I created a scientific algorithm to decide who goes." "I thought you were firing the people with the highest salaries." "Okay, maybe 'algorithm' is an overstatement."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laptop computer, upside down, reboot, etch -a - sketch

View Transcript

Transcript

As Dilbert and Wally walk by, the Boss asks, "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?" Dilbert holds an Etch-a-Sketch over his head and shakes it. He tells the Boss, "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot." The Boss says, "Oh, that's right." Wally says to Dilbert as they walk away, "I wonder if he'll ever realize we gave him an 'Etch-a-Sketch.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frivolous email, bogs down network, noticed, too much communication, about time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert reads an e-mail message on his computer screen. The message says, "To: all users. From: network admin. Please refrain from frivolous e-mail. It bogs down the network." Dilbert types a message that says, "To: network admin. From: Dilbert. CC: all users. I agree!" Dilbert arrives at home and asks Dogbert, "Have you noticed there's too much communication in the world, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, every day at about this time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags planes going down, one parachute, harvard mba, dog, knapsack, old joke, ceo grabs, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager ted, planned better, pushed down stairs, soul left body, evil entity, performance reviews

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance review, engineering work, shoved down stairs, killed boss, forces of darkeness, posses body

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Performance Review." Alice sits across from Ted's desk. Ted reads a document and says, "Your engineering work was excellent, Alice. But there was the little incident where you . . ." Ted stands, revealing a devil's tail, and screams, "Shoved me down a flight of stairs and killed me, thus inviting the forces of darkness to possess my body!!!" Alice holds up a crucifix and yells, "Back!" Dilbert sees Alice walking out of Ted's office and asks, "How'd it go?" Alice replies, "I swear, this job is all politics."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags netwrok administartor, take down network, keystroke, being doctor, goofy stuff, paws

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair with his paw poised over the keyboard. Dogbert thinks, "As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke." Dogbert presses a key and the employees all scream. Dogbert thinks, "It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws."