Hear Strange Sounds Comic Strips - Page 3

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549 Results for Hear Strange Sounds

View 21 - 30 results for hear strange sounds comic strips. Discover the best "Hear Strange Sounds" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #boost morale, #more reviews, #hear employees, #300% more criticism, #working in box

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The Boss says, "Good news, Alice. I'm going to have quarterly performance reviews to boost morale." Alice stands in her cubicle and replies, "Wow! In addition to working sixteen hours a day in this big box, now I'll get 300% more criticism!" The Boss says, "I'll have a chance to hear employee concerns four times a year." Alice says, "I assume comprehension will remain on the bicentennial plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alice crazy, #can't complain, #screen saver, #wally clipping nails, #made recording, #alice, #wally annoying sounds

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Alice sits at her desk listening to sounds coming over the cubicle wall. She clenches her teeth and thinks, "Oh, no . . . It's the maddening sound of Wally clipping his nails." Alice thinks, "The sound makes me crazy, but I can't complain because it would sound silly. Must . . . Wait . . ." Dilbert stands behind Wally and asks, "You made your own screen saver?" Wally replies, "It's called 'Wally's 101 Annoying Cubicle Sounds.'" The sound of slurping comes from his computer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #hire, #consultant, #cognitive, #dissonance, #employee, #morale, #absurd, #situation, #work, #minds, #comfortable, #illusion, #strange, #dead end, #job, #love, #mediocre, #freely

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #chips, #hear, #latest, #brain, #research, #proven, #stimulation, #conscious, #absurd, #rationalizations, #random, #interaction, #arguably, #control

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Ratbert sits on the hassock eating potato chips. Dogbert says, "Hi, Ratbert, may I have some chips?" Ratbert answers, "No, sorry. There are only enough for one." Dogbert asks, "Did you hear about the latest brain research?" Dogbert says, "Science has proven that the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought doesn't show any stimulation until AFTER you act." Dogbert continues, "That means you never make conscious decisions; all you do is rationalize what you've done after the fact." Dogbert continues, "Your life is nothing but a series of absurd rationalizations for the random interaction of chemicals in your brain." Ratbert starts blinking. Ratbert falls over, drops the bag of chips and screams, "Aaagh!!! My life is absurd!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock eating the chips. He says, "That was mean, but aruguably I couldn't control myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #corporate emperor, #downsizing, #sounds negative, #wedgiesizing, #clean desk and shoo

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Dogbert stands opn top of a filing cabinet wearing his crown and holding his scepter. An employee looks up at Dogbert who says, "I don't like to call what I'm doing 'downsizing.' It sounds too negative. Bob the Dinosaur gives the employee a wedgie with a firm "Yank!" Dogbert says, "I like to call it 'wedgiesizing.' Now clean out your desk and shoo!" Bob says, "He didn't take that very well." Dogbert sits on the edge of the cabinet and says, "You can't please everyone, Bob."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #important conference, #creat interaction, #local and global issues, #being sarcastic, #sounds exciting

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to a very important conference." Dogbert asks, "What's it for?" Dilbert replies, "The brochure says the goal is to 'create interaction around local and global issues of the coming century'." Dogbert perks his ears up. Annoyed, Dilbert says, "You're being sarcastic with your ears agin." Dogbert says, "It sounds so exciting!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #strange dream, #alice, #research, #someone else dream, #graose, #seedless, #science

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Alice goes to sit down at the conference table. She says, "I had a strange dream last night." Bob says, "Research has shown that nothing is less interesting than hearing about someone's dream." Alice says, "..But this was no ordinary grape. It was a seedless!" Bob covers his ears and yells, "My brain is gnawing its way out!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #radio to work, #alice, #breaks radio, #sound of breaking

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A man peers into Alice's cubicle. He holds a radio. He says, "Hey, Alice, I brought my radio to work. You can hear it from your cubicle too." The man says, "Is there anything in particular that you want to hear?" Alice says, "Yes, ther is." Dilber looks suprise as Bam sounds come from Alice's cubicle and radio parts fly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #mathematical proof god, #smartest garbageman, #transposed varaiables, #proves existence of dog, #you exist, #error, #hear something

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"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1999's comic on:


Tags #nice woman, #venting, #phone number, #sounds nocer, #insulted, #descent story, #Dilbert, #brutal truth

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Dilbert is at a party. A woman says, "And then I said, "How am I supposed to do all that?" then I glared at her." Dilbert says, "Do you have that woman's phone number? She sounds nicer than you." Dilbert walks and thinks, "I don't see why it's MY fault she can't tell a decent story."