High Demand Comic Strips - Page 3

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215 Results for High Demand

View 21 - 30 results for high demand comic strips. Discover the best "High Demand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software development work, #impoverished nation, #elbonia, #high quality code, #no risk, #red alert.elbonia, #be computer tomorrow

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I moved our software development work to the impoverished nation of Elbonia." The Boss continues, "I'm brilliant. They write high-quality code for six cents a day! There's no risk!" Dilbert thinks, "Red alert!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian wearing a box on his head says, "Tomorrow, YOU be the computer." Another Elbonian stands in front of him pretending to type on a keyboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demo, #ne wpordcut, #vp next week, #delay, #ship date, #lower morale, #create unending demand, #unproductive demos, #doing valuable work, #quality, #banner

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #department newsletter, #high profile assignment, #technical writer, #intern and rodent, #spats page, #raise based, #topless model

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The Boss, Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I want you three to write the department newsletter. It's an important, high-profile assignment." Tina says, "I am an experienced technical writer. You have placed me on a project with an intern and a rodent." Tina continues, "MY next raise will depend on THEIR performance." Asok says, "I'll do the sports page!" Ratbert says, "I'll be the topless model on page two."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #high morale?, #hr director, #love feedback, #morale is low, #more frequent reviews, #employees underpaid

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Catbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Morale is low because the employees are underpaid." Catbert continues, "You can compensate by having more frequent performance reviews. They love feedback." Catbert clenches his teeth and thinks, "The hardest part is keeping a straight face." The Boss says, "Tell me again why I'd want morale to be high?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family friendly policies, #higher profits, #high profits, #true costs, #camouflage, #five minute break

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A woman points at a chart and says, "My study shows that the companies with 'Family Friendly' policies have higher profits." Dilbert sits in the audience with Wally, Alice and other employees. He raises his hand and says, "Question: Do family policies cause high profits or do high profits simply camouflage the true costs of the policies?" The woman says, "We'll take a five-minute break so the married people can slap you for asking that." Dilbert says, "Ouch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monkeys, #pick stocks, #dogbert mutual fund, #better professional, #employee only monkeys, #high fees, #hiring the best, #paid commercial

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On television, Dogbert speaks in a paid commercial about his mutual fund. Dogbert says, "Studies have shown that monkeys can pick stocks better than most professionals." The Boss watches the tv commercial. Dogbert says, "That's why the Dogbert mutual fund employs only monkeys." Dogbert sits at a desk surrounded by monkeys. Dogbert says, "Yes, our fees are high, but I don't apologize for hiring the best."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demand for engineers, #supply, #increasing insolence, #decreasing prodcutivity, #hire engineer, #equilibrium restored

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Dilbert and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "This week I discovered that the demand for engineers exceeds the supply." The Boss, Dilbert, and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "I responded by increasing my insolence and decreasing my productivity." The Boss says, "I will never hire another engineer as along as I'm alive." "Equilibrium has been restored," says Wally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach morons, #high level jobs, #addicted to wagging, #ear clokwise, #tongue in

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downtrodden cubicle workers, #form union, #working conditions, #salaried workers, #against law, #no overtime, #no security, #spines, #demand bigger cucbilce, #union dues, #long hours, #strap on spines

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"Hear me, all downtrodden cubicle workers!" "I have come to form a union to improve your working conditions!" "We can't join a union. We're salaried." "I think it's against the law, or something." "You've got long hours, no overtime, shrinking benefits and no job security. You must act now!" "You're confusing us with people who have spines." "Don't worry, I brought strap-on porta-spines for everybody." "I demand a bigger cubicle!" "Nobody will take advantage of us ever again!" "Now, let's talk about union dues." "Fair enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstacle to success, #poor graphics, #inability to communicate, #beyond communication, #think clearly, #high five, #broke code, #participate, #meetings

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The Boss puts a transparency on the overhead projector and says, "This graphic shows our biggest obstacle to success." The diagram shows an arrow through a series of acronyms. Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at the conference table looking confused. Wally asks, "Are you saying our biggest obstacle to success is poor graphics?" Alice replies, "I think he's saying our biggest problem is his overall inability to communicate." Dilbert says, "I think his point goes beyond communication. He's showing us that he doesn't even THINK clearly!" Wally says, "That's it!" Alice says, "High five!!" Wally shouts, "You broke the code!" The Boss says, "You know how I said you should participate more in meetings? I didn't mean it."