High Morale? Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for high morale? comic strips. Discover the best "High Morale?" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baywatch, #morale is low, #talk of mutiny, #project staus report, #death to boss, #pointy haired one

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Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommute, #high paying, #goals, #measured, #stay home, #mail checks, #direct deposit

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"I'd like a job where I can telecommute every day." "It should be high-paying yet have goals which can't be measured." "So, you'd stay home and we'd mail you checks?" "I was hoping for direct deposit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Cartoon, #cartoon on back, #hurts morale, #joke, #management decions, #take it down, #improvement

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The Boss: This cartoon seems to be saying that management decisions are a joke. Cartoons are not allowed on cubicles. It hurst morale, I don't want to see this when I return. The Boss: Ive noticed a real improvement in morale since you removed the cartoon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert ethics advisor, #prodcut, #mail people, #high fees, #procedure, #ethics advice, #return stupid prodcut

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"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We mail our product to people and tell them it's free for one year." "Then we start nailing them with high fees because they'll forget the procedure for returning the product. They're trapped." "So, did you have some ethics advice?" "No. I asked you here so I can return your stupid product."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high income group, #can afford product, #rich, #tasteless, #easily amused, #located a cluster, #dog, #golf course, #animals

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Dilbert and Alice watch as Dogbert points to a diagram and says, "Your target market is the high income group. They're the only ones who can afford your product." Dogbert continues, "More specifically, they must be rich, tasteless and easily amused. I've located a cluster of them to study." Dogbert stands behind a bush on a golf course and watches two golfers. One golfer says, "That dog's watching us golf again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #effects pay, #employee survey, #grumpiest employee, #morale, #touchy feely stuff

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The Boss says to an employee, "The employee surveys indicate some dissatisfaction in my group. That affects my pay." The Boss continues as the man frowns, "You're my grumpiest employee, so I'm going to fire you to bring up my average score for morale." The Boss walks away thinking, "I think I'm getting better at all the touchy-feely stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert as intern, #high traffic cube, #look busy, #ratbert looks busy, #at computer

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Dilbert sits in his desk chair and says to Ratbert, "Since you won't go away, I'll make you an intern." Ratbert says, "Great! What's an intern?" Dilbert explains, "You'll spend your day in a high-traffic cube trying to look busy. Your main function is to make the rest of us glad we're not you." As he sits in a cubicle moving a mouse Ratbert thinks, "How did people ever look busy before computers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company dress code, #dress like a woman, #high heels, #panty hose, #little ornaments, #male viwers

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Alice is dressed in a shirt, tie and pants. Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm protesting the company's dress code. I refuse to dress like a woman." Alice clenches her fist and continues forcefully, "High heels and pantyhose are designed to make women look like helpless little ornaments for the pleasure of male viewers!" Wally says, "I've never had pleasure viewing you. I swear." Alice says, "Thank you for your support."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software development work, #impoverished nation, #elbonia, #high quality code, #no risk, #red alert.elbonia, #be computer tomorrow

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I moved our software development work to the impoverished nation of Elbonia." The Boss continues, "I'm brilliant. They write high-quality code for six cents a day! There's no risk!" Dilbert thinks, "Red alert!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian wearing a box on his head says, "Tomorrow, YOU be the computer." Another Elbonian stands in front of him pretending to type on a keyboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demo, #ne wpordcut, #vp next week, #delay, #ship date, #lower morale, #create unending demand, #unproductive demos, #doing valuable work, #quality, #banner

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Could you do a demo of the new product for our VP next week?" Dilbert says, "Well . . . That would delay the ship date, lower morale and create an unending demand for more unproductive demos . . ." Dilbert continues, "Logically, since your objective is to show that we're doing valuable work . . ." The Boss interrupts, "And we'll need a banner that says 'Quality.'"