Hire Temp Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for hire temp comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Temp" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #20% more money, #hire someone, #loyal, #40% more, #science, #mime, #wall blocks

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Dilbert is in the boss's office and he says to the boss: "Another company offered me twenty percent more. Will you match it? The boss answers: "No, I prefer to hire someone who is loyal, even if I have to pay forty percent more." Dilbert shakes his hands looking angry and says: "Managing is supposed to be a science!" The boss holds up his hands in front of him and says: "My mime wall blocks your sound."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont pay enough, #hire brilliant people, #web team, #stock options

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An employee explains to the Boss: "We don't pay enough to hire brilliant people for our web team." She continues: "I need webiot savants who don't know they should have better jobs." At a hiring interview the the applicant says: "I'd expect stock options, of course." She turns and yells, "Next!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire another engineer, #last minute, #cost saving s awards, #plan to hire, #work twice as hard

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I had planned to hire another engineer." The Boss continues, "At the last minute I rememered I could just make you work twice as hard." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe you could nominate me for one of those cost saving awards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genetic anamolies, #genetic engineering, #grow on, #hand growing on head, #new temp, #temp agnecy, #wear goggles

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Dogbert: The Dogbert temp agency uses genetic engineering to grow our own workers. The Boss: Isn't that dangerous? Dogbert: I wear safety goggles. Temp: Im the new temp. Alice: Um Im alice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #hand, #head, #new temp, #new temp likes, #shakes hand on head

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New Temp: Its a pleasure to meet you Alice. OOWEE!! That was a good hand shake.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agency, #get it, #hand, #joke, #play on words, #dogbert temp

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New Temp: Im from the DOgbert Temp agency, DO you need a hand? Dilbert: I get it, her her! New Temp: Get what? Dilbert: Then I said, "Don't get mad: try counting to fifteen" Wally: Ouch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blank copies, #copied wrong sides, #intern, #new temp, #talk to hand, #tells off

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Asok: These copies you made for me are blank. New Temp: Thats because all the originals were blank. Asok: Maybe you could have checked the other sides, New temp: Talk to the hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retaining best employees, #whittle, #confidence, #hire

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Dogbert asks The Boss, "Do you have a plan for retaining the best employees?" The Boss says, "I whittle at their confidence until they believe no one else would ever hire them." Dogbert says, "Doesn't that make them sluggish?" The Boss says, "Yes, but if they're all sluggish, it looks right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temp requested, #afraid of commitment, #stand like this, #no chair needed

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Carol brings a man into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Here's the temp you requested." Dilbert extends his hand. The temp backs up and exclaims, "Gaaa!! No handshake! I'm afraid of commitment!!" The temp motions as if he is running and says, "I won't need a chair. I like to stand in this position."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teds job, #two jobs forever, #verbal praise, #down the road, #future, #manipulation, #until hire

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I need you to do Ted's job and your own job until we hire someone." Dilbert responds, "If I do well, you'll make me do two jobs forever. If I do poorly, I'll get no raise." The Boss replies, "I can't promise anything, but there might be some verbal praise down the road."