Hold Out Arm Comic Strips - Page 3
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Alice: Your topic of conversation has failed to hold my attention. I can no longer resist the urge to check my email while you talk. You'd better not be emailing me now. Dilbert: This isn't over.
Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.
Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.
Dogbert: This is Dogbert's tech support. How many I abuse you? Boss: I think my digital modem is broken. Dogbert: Please hold while I pretend to be testing it. Okay, it looks fine from here. The problem must be in your wiring. You'll have to rip out all of the wiring in your entire house to locate the problem. Boss: Are you sure? Because the lights on the modem aren't even on. Dogbert: That means you have moisture on your internal wiring. You'll also need to replace all of your plumbing and get a new roof. Boss: May I speak with your supervisor? Dogbert: Sure. But he sounds exactly like me.
Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.
Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. The voice on the tv says, "Tonight Siskel and Ebert review Dilbert's life." Ebert says, ". . . Boring and stupid . . . Look out, Gene; I'm gonna have to spit to get the taste out of my mouth . . ." Ebert continues, "Oops. Sorry, Gene." Dilbert points the remote control at the tv and changes the channel as he says, "I hate when they do these theme shows."
Bob the Dinosaur says, "Dogbert, we've come to resign from your cult." Dawn says, "You can't push us around anymore." Dogbert is wearing a crown. Dogbert replies, "Resign?!! Ha! You're unworthy! I kick you out. The cult doesn't need your type!" Bob begs, "Nooo!! Take us back!!! Please!!!" Dogbert says, "I think this explains why dinosaurs don't rule the earth."
The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"