Hopes And Dreams Dashed Comic Strips - Page 3

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30 Results for Hopes And Dreams Dashed

View 21 - 30 results for hopes and dreams dashed comic strips. Discover the best "Hopes And Dreams Dashed" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #suggestions, #good idea, #doubtful of wally, #seen in book, #no confidence, #employee morale, #abilities

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "That's an interesting suggestion, Wally. But if it's a good idea, why aren't other companies doing it?" Waving his hands wildly, Wally yells angrily, "Can you imagine in your WILDEST dreams that maybe, just MAYBE I had a good idea that nobody else thought of?!!" The Boss comments, "You must have seen it in a book." Wally says, "Thanks for the confidence in my abilities." Dilbert interjects, "You read a book?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bitter secreatry, #brain creates idea., #business idea, #creates words, #delivered, #life cycle, #proactive synergy, #words on paper

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert presents the life cycle of a business idea." The caption says, "The brain creates an idea." Asok, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Asok dreams about a woman. The caption says, "The mouth - operating independently of the brain - creates words." Asok says, "Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams." The caption says, "The words are written on large paper." Dilbert writes, "Let's form synergy," on an easel pad. He thinks, "Idiot." The caption says, "The large paper is delivered to a bitter secretary." Dilbert hands Carol the paper and says, "Please?" Carol growls. The caption says, "The secretary types it." Carol types, "Let's . . . form . . . protein . . . symphony reactionary . . . teens." She thinks, "Close enough." The caption says, "The typed notes are delivered to the staff." Someone hands Wally a copy of the notes. He points to the wastebasket and says, "Drop it in the 'to do basket.'" The caption says, "Repeat." Asok sits at his desk dreaming about a woman.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #code monkey, #dreams, #evil director, #less work, #software simian, #architect, #engineering

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company invested, #billion dollars, #made up numbers, #slide to oblivion, #made a difference, #victims

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"The company decided to invest a billion dollars based on your stupid made-up numbers." "You've crushed my dreams of a better tomorrow. Now my life is a cold, wet slide to oblivion." "I finally made a difference at work." "how many victims?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #presentation, #fall asleep, #dream, #animal snout, #nose job, #reality, #tease, #mouth open, #scared, #wiggle fingers, #annoyed, #business

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Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ridicule, #age, #generation, #blame, #prediction, #criticism, #angry, #annoyed

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Asok says, "Your age group has destroyed the hopes of my entire generation." Asok says, "Your parents were the so-called 'Greatest generation.' I wonder what your age group will be known as." Asok says, "I'll bet it includes the word 'Bag.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2006's comic on:


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"Before you energize my team with your proposal, let me introduce everyone." "This is Wally. He'll show no reaction because he hopes apathy will kill our idea before it creates work." "This is Alice. She'll leave halfway through your presentation to take a phone call." "This is Asok. He'll be enthusiastic because he doesn't understand how the real world works." "This is Dilbert. He'll tell you why your idea is impossible." "This is Carol. She'll spend the entire meeting wondering if that's your real hair." "And this is Ted. He gave his two-weeks' notice last week." "And I like to keep my eyes closed the entire time because of my allergies. Go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #mobile (cell) phones, #instant message, #emailed, #texted, #personal phone, #called, #inperson, #negate, #ignore, #push away, #no answer, #excuses

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Dilbert: You never answered my IM. Alice: You should have emailed me. Dilbert: I did. You didn't answer my email. Alice: If it was so important, you should have texted me. Dilbert: You didn't answer my texts. Alice; You have to text my personal phone. Dilbert: You didn't answer those texts either. Alice: Had it been important, you would have called me. Dilbert: I did. You didn't answer your phone and you don't return calls. So here I am. Alice: It's premature to get your hopes up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #tldr, #email, #communication, #patience, #criticism

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Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.