Hose The Plan Comic Strips - Page 3
521 Results for Hose The Plan
View 21 - 30 results for hose the plan comic strips. Discover the best "Hose The Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 21, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."
Share April 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "I've developed a plan to make you pity me and then welcome me in your family." Ratbert shows Dilbert a roll of toilet paper with a face drawn on it. Ratbert says, "I built Timmy the Toilet Paper Man. Timmy will be my only friend. It will be so pathetic that you will have to love me." Ratbert shows Dogbert an empty roll of toilet paper and says, "Dilbert seems to have very little respect for Timmy."
Share September 23, 1992's comic on:
A man shows a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "His name is Dilbert. He invented something that would make our entire product line obsolete." The man behind the desk asks, "Do you have a plan?" The employee replies, "Uh . . . I could wax your desk with my hair again." The man says, "It's just crazy enough to work."
Share May 21, 1993's comic on:
At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."
Share June 03, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."
Share June 19, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to the seminar participants, "As a zombie, you must speak in empty generalities." Dogbert continues, "Your business plan might say 'We strive to utilize a variety of techniques to accomplish a broad spectrum of results toward the bottom line.'" A man says, "Hey! My skin is getting clammy and I have the urge to call a meeting!" The man sitting next to him says, "Me too!" Dogbert says, "Good . . . Good . . ."
Share May 05, 1994's comic on:
"We don't know what the project should do or who would use it." "But if you could tell us what it costs to build it, we'll figure out the rest later." "What year do you plan to sell it?" "What am I - psychic or something??"
Share September 09, 1994's comic on:
"This chart shows the decision process we're using for my project." "Here we're wasting money. Then someone said, 'hey, let's create a complicated chart.' Now we're at this meeting, talking about the chart." "I have a question." "Great...there goes the plan."
Share December 29, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch armrest. Dogbert says, "Remember the old saying, Ratbert: you can lead a horse to water . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . But by the time you got there you'd smell like a horse and your butt would hurt." Ratbert asks, "If you stuck a hose in a horse's mouth and taped it there, could you make the horse drink?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, I've tried it."
Share April 01, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "Each of you will write your objectives and give them to me." The Boss continues, "Then I will sculpt these disparate pieces of clay into an elegant tapestry which will be our business plan." Alice asks, "Our business plan will be like a clay tapestry?" The Boss says, "Feel free to quote me."