Hr Dorector Comic Strips - Page 3
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101 Results for Hr Dorector
View 21 - 30 results for hr dorector comic strips. Discover the best "Hr Dorector" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 29,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #all employees, #smell of popcron, #unprofessional, #banning popcorn, #tobacco, #perfum, #Wally
Transcript
Catbert stands on his desk chair and types, "To: All Employees. The smell of popcorn in the office is unprofessional . . ." Wally and Alice read the e-mail message and Alice says, "He's banning popcorn! First it was tobacco, then perfume, now this . . . There's only one pollutant left." Catbert types, ". . . This brings me to the unpleasant subject of Wally . . ."
Monday November 11,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #get extra engineer, #project, #transfer, #loser, #comapny, #misplaced optimism
Transcript
Catbert sits at his desk and says, "There are two ways to get an extra engineer for your project." Catbert continues, "You can transfer some unqualified loser from within the company . . ." Dilbert asks, "Or?" Catbert says, "Not so fast. I like to savor the moment before I crush your misplaced optimism."
Tuesday November 12,
1996
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dierctor, #resumes, #highly qualified, #applicants, #don't pay enough, #hire qualified applicants
Transcript
Catbert stands on a desk and says to Dilbert, "Here are the resumes of highly qualified applicants for your opening." Catbert snatches the resumes away from Dilbert and says, "It's too bad we don't pay enough to hire qualified applicants. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Alice and Dilbert sit at a table looking through piles of resumes. Alice says, "Let's see . . . We've got resumes in pencil . . . Crayon . . . pencil . . . Eyeliner . . ." Dilbert says, "Hey! Dot matrix!"
Wednesday January 01,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #window cubicle, #naps, #on walls head
Transcript
Catbert peers into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, I pulled some strings to get you moved to a window cubicle." Catbert continues, "It's for my own benefit. I plan to take naps while lying in the sun on top of your head." Catbert sleeps on Wally's head. Wally says, "Every day this job teaches me I can get used to anything."
Wednesday January 22,
1997
Tags #canceling life insurance, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #extend vacations, #family freindly, #no longer allow, #remove incentives, #time off for death, #kill relatives
Transcript
Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Effective immediately, the company will no longer allow time off for the death of a family member." Catbert continues, "This 'family friendly' policy will remove your incentive to extend vacations by killing relatives." Catbert continues, "And more good news: we're canceling your life insurance so your family won't try to snuff you out either."
Monday January 27,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #lower base salary, #necktie, #Wally
Transcript
Catbert stands on a desk and says, "We've decided to lower your base salary, Wally." Catbert continues, "I realize this will be a hardship. But if you hand me your necktie I'll show you why this is being done." Dilbert asks Wally, "What did he say was the reason?" Wally replies, "'Because I can.'" Wally's tie has been shredded.
Thursday February 06,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #boss didn't see struggle, #low performance, #alice, #human resources binder, #downsize
Transcript
Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."
Tuesday April 15,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business
Transcript
Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."
Friday April 18,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dierctor, #life insurance policy, #raise blood pressure, #dangerous levels, #fifty time salary, #ceo
Transcript
Catbert peers over a wall and says, "Wally, the company bought a life insurance policy on you." Catbert explains, "Our plan is to raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels." Catbert asks, "Did you know that our CEO makes fifty times your salary even though our stock is down?" Wally covers his ears and shouts, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Thursday April 24,
1997
Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #discriminated against, #family emergencies, #ratted out boss, #family friendly policy, #love family
Transcript
Alice sits in a chair and Catbert sits on a couch. Alice says, "I'm being discriminated against because I take time off for family emergencies." Catbert replies, "I'll handle this by telling your boss that you ratted him out to the Director of Human Resources." Alice says, "I thought we had a 'Family Friendly' policy." Catbert says, "The key word is FRIENDLY. You've been acting as if you LOVE your family."