Human Contact Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

354 Results for Human Contact

View 21 - 30 results for human contact comic strips. Discover the best "Human Contact" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #note, #Dilbert, #potato, #glasses, #eyes, #contact, #lenses, #reference, #Dogbert, #lady di, #witch, #witch's curse

View Transcript

Transcript

The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #eye, #contact, #uncontrollable, #urge, #blink, #twnety, #times

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #mother nature, #litterbugs, #human, #Dilbert, #example, #gary larson, #Cartoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Mother Nature: Mother Nature has decided to be lenient with you human litterbugs. You can stay on the planet, but I'll have to make an example of you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #andy, #android, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #annoying, #imitate, #human, #behavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My android works! Andy: Hi. I am Andy the android. I am designed to rapidly analyze and imitate human behavior. Dilbert: This could be annoying. Andy: I know you are, but what am I?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #dance, #Dilbert, #eye contact, #spots, #wall, #awkwardly, #hate, #smile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees someone walking down the hallway toward him. Dilbert thinks, "Now for the 'Dance of the Eye Contact.'" Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "I pretend to look at spots on the wall. If our eyes meet too soon we'll have to awkwardly smile for ten seconds." Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "Now!" The man thinks, "I hate the first smile of the day."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #down sizing, #acts like a freind, #misery of people, #bat your head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk and tells the Boss, "I hired a new director of Human Resources to handle the downsizing." Dogbert continues, "I needed somebody who acts like a friend but secretly delights in the misery of all people." Catbert stands on a monitor and says to an employee, "We need to talk, Paul. But first I'm going to bat your head around and scratch you." Paul responds, "Hee hee!! That's so cute!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #blame the media, #blow out proportion, #dispappear, #human nature, #third wife, #Wally, #free replacements

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You could offer free replacements for all the keyboards you sold without a 'Q,' or you could blame the media for blowing it out of proportion." Wally says, "Let's blame the media. They'll admit they were wrong and the whole thing will disappear." Dogbert says, "You have a brilliant grasp of human nature, Wally." Wally responds, "I know. My third wife always said the same thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #wally hat, #safety rule, #email, #human resources, #short ep, #lyees, #visibilty, #aluminum foil pants, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees Wally wearing a hat with a triangular flag or pennant attached. Dilbert asks, "What's the hat for, Wally?" Wally answers, "It's a new safety rule. I think it's stupid." Wally says, "The e-mail from human resources said all short employees must wear these to improve visibility while in the cubicle aisles." Dilbert peers into Alice's cubicle. He says to her, "HR should change their password once in a while." Alice says, "I'll bet we can make him wear aluminum foil pants."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ratbert the temo worker, #demand respect, #eye contact, #peripheral vision

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert shouts from inside his box, "I'm only a temp, but I demand respect!!" Ratbert continues, "Okay, maybe that's too much to ask. But I demand that somebody make eye contact with me!!" The Boss comes by. He looks at Ratbert and says, "How's this?" Ratbert, who has grabbed hold of the Boss's tie, shouts, "That's peripheral vision!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #technical support, #gullible, #optimistic, #buy something, #human being

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk with a telephone in his hand. A voice on the phone says, "Press 'One' for sales. Press 'Two' in a hopeless effort to get technical support." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone continues, "Press 'One' for answers to questions you don't have. Press 'Two' if you're gullible and optimistic." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone says, "Press 'Two' if you're willing to buy something just so you can talk to a human being . . ." Dilbert puts the phone on the desk and raises a mallet to strike it.