Hurt Productivity Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

164 Results for Hurt Productivity

View 21 - 30 results for hurt productivity comic strips. Discover the best "Hurt Productivity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #uninterrupted, #productivity, #crumbs in sink, #black sheep

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, "Today I will know the joy of uninterrupted productivity." Wally approaches Dilbert with a cup of coffee in hand and says, "We're forming a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink." Dilbert replies, "I assume it's you." Wally answers, "We need more black sheep around here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fun organization, #rubber chicken, #hurt so much

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "From now on, this is going to be a fun organization." Wally asks the Boss, "When are you leaving?" The meeting ends and Wally and Dilbert are leaving the room. Wally's glasses are broken and he looks like he's been ruffed up a little. Wally says to Dilbert, "I had no idea that a rubber chicken could hurt so much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hurt birds, #served chicken sandwhiches, #bird society, #audobon

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is standing behind Dilbert. The boss says, "I just met with the Birdabon Society. I had to promise we won't hurt any birds." The boss continues, "Our caterer served chicken sandwiches for lunch." The boss says, "I pretended to give mine CPR but I was really eating it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casual dress day, #hurting productivity, #need to cancel, #real problems, #irrational management, #comfortable plants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Casual Dress Day is hurting our productivity. We need to cancel it." Catbert says, "Is it possible that our real problems are caused by irrational management?" The Boss says, "No, I think comfortable pants are the problem." Catbert says, "Sounds right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ergonomic evaluation, #key board, #supposed to hurt, #feel hands, #whole body numb

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. Asok the intern asks stiffly, "May I have an ergonomic evaluation of my chair and keyboard?" The Boss responds, "Asok, work is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're doing it right." Asok exclaims, "I can't feel my hands!" To which The Boss replies, "My whole body is numb!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloning th eboss, #might hurt, #push button, #employeees, #operating room, #doctors offcie, #lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Cloning the Boss. Dilbert has on a doctor's uniform. The Boss is lying on an operation bed with a laser pointed at his head. The Boss asks, "Will this hurt?" Dilbert responds, "I hope so." Alice, Wally, and Asok enter the room. Alice says, "We heard it might hurt." Wally asks, "May I push the button?" The Boss looks nervous.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selfish, #dimwitted, #six sigma consulatant, #bog down meetings, #process, #can't hurt anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo visit, #discontinue work, #five days, #illusion of productivity, #diversity, #few open slots

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our CEO is visiting next week. Discontinue all real work immediately." The Boss continues, "We have five days to create the illusion of productivity." The Boss points to a clipboard and says, "Here's the diversity sign-up sheet. We still have a few open slots that only require a hat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worry, #paranoid beaver, #productivity rewarded, #alice, #merger, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretaries (office), #increase work productivity, #yammering, #salted earth, #great plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I just thought of a great idea for increasing workplace productivity. Carol: Does it involve standing near my workplace and yammering while I try to work? Boss: Geez. Who salted the Earth? Carol: Your plan is going great so far.