Installing Line Comic Strips - Page 3

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158 Results for Installing Line

View 21 - 30 results for installing line comic strips. Discover the best "Installing Line" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ken from sales, #nobody buys, #current prodcut, #new version, #entire product line, #biggest comepetitor, #brisk sales, #commissions galore, #justice, #idiots punished

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A man says to Dilbert, "Yo, Dil-man!" Dilbert sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Ken from sales." Ken says, "I told our biggest customers how great our next product will be. Now nobody will buy our current product." Ken asks, "When will the new version be available?" Dilbert replies, "In a year or two." Ken looks shocked. Ken says, "Hmm . . . I seem to have single-handedly destroyed an entire product line." Ken continues, "Luckily our biggest competitor is hiring sales people. And I'm betting THEY'LL have brisk sales this year! Commissions galore!" Dilbert thinks, "If there's justice in this world, the idiots will be punished . . ." Dilbert thinks, ". . . Before they get promoted." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Um . . . We need the new version by Tuesday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #training, #worlds longest joke, #criminally abusive, #behavior and fun, #fine line behaviors

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The Boss is meeting with an employee. The Boss says, "So Ted has been training you for the past six months." The Boss continues, "Based on your work, I'd say he's playing the world's longest practical joke on you." The employee is visibly angry. He approached Ted. Ted says, "Sometimes there's a fine line between criminally abusive behavior and fun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #business reporter, #wall times post gazette, #new product line, #nick name for ceo

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Dilbert answers his work phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert." The voice on the other end says, "Hi, I'm a business reporter for the Wall Times Post Gazette." The reporter says, "I'm doing a story about how dumb.. I mean dynamic... your new product line is." Dilbert comes home and tells Dogbert, "Then he promised not to print the amusing nickname I have for our CEO." Dogbert responds, "You are so dynamic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #billion dollar product line, #designed and launched, #meets expectations, #high expectations, #worng

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"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #huge galatians project, #disqualified, #one minute late, #future depends on win bid, #winning bid, #future of company, #can't be late, #line dancing sign

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"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid

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Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #created time line, #identified resources, #revise timeline, #re examine, #thousand ways, #haven't done anything

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Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #product training, #pride in product line, #users experience, #painful boils, #relatively satisfied customers, #techniques

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Product Training. Man: You work for a company that takes pride in its product line. Only half of our users experience painful boils. We call that group the "relatively satisfied customers. what the?!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #fax to voice line, #prank, #on purpose, #pain, #bother, #harass, #anger, #mad

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Hello? This is Alice. BEEEP BEEEP You are faxing to my voice line gain you #!!%* Dilbert: How often do you fax to her voice line? wally: It depends if she's been bad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #take six months, #time line, #leadership, #made me unmotivated, #foreseen or unforseen, #wally is dysfunctional, #schedule is random, #looks mad

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The Boss points to a board that says, "Time Line." He says, "The project will take six months..." He continues, "Unless there are unforeseen problems." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Your leadership has made me unmotivated." Dilbert asks, "Is that considered foreseen or unforeseen?" Dilbert continues, pointing at Wally, "And Wally is dysfunctional on many levels." Wally agrees, "I really am." Dilbert asks, "Was that foreseen? Or are you saying the schedule is random?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "He looks mad." Alice says, "I didn't see that coming."