Interest Rates Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

60 Results for Interest Rates

View 21 - 30 results for interest rates comic strips. Discover the best "Interest Rates" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #project, #300 days, #complete, #finish by 5oclock, #clean desk, #fired, #lose interest

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I hired all of you because the project will take 300 man days to complete." "There are 300 of you, so I want you to finish by five o'clock and clean out your desks. You're all fired." "If it takes more than one meeting to manage a project, I lose interest."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #approval, #marketing, #pathetic plan, #knowing plans, #interest, #smite enemies, #cloud of doom, #sales projections, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, The Boss says, "Get approval from marketing." Dilbert walks away carrying the paper and followed by a little cloud which says, "Doom." The Marketing man, sitting at his desk, has devil's horns on his head. The marketing man says, "I reject your pathetic plan." Showing the piece of paper, Dilbert asks, "Do you have any interest in knowing what the plan is?" The little cloud that says, "Doom," continues hovering near Dilbert's head. The marketing man says, "Not unless you're proposing to smite my enemies." Dilbert says, "I prefer to call them customers. And yes, they'll take it in the shorts." The little cloud that says, "Doom," continues hovering near Dilbert's head. Dilbert says, "As an added inducement I will give you this cool little Cloud of Doom. The little cloud that says, "Doom," continues hovering near Dilbert's head. The marketing man says to the Cloud of Doom, "I'm going to staple you to my sales projections." The little cloud that says, "Doom," is now hovering near the marketing man's head.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #save money, #firings, #consultants, #flossie, #highly technical work, #invitation, #shake hands, #greeting ritual, #brain overload, #raise rates, #over reacts, #dumb woman, #lost, #freak, #new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss comes into Brian's cubicle and says, "I'm sorry, Brian. I have to fire all my consultants to save money." Brian turns to the Boss and asks, "Who will do your highly technical work?" The Boss brings in a woman and says to Brian, "You can transfer all your knowledge to Flossie." Brian holds out his hand to shake hands and says, "Hi." Flossie grips a pencil in her hand and says, "What's with the hand? Do you want to borrow my pencil?" Brian replies, "Um...no. This is an invitation to shake hands. It's a greeting ritual." Flossie grabs her head and shouts, "OUCH!! Brain overload!! It's too much information!!" Flossie puts both hands on either side of her head and repeats, "Purge! Purge! Purge!" Flossie stares at Brian blankly and says calmly, "Where am I?" Brian thinks to himself, "I need to raise my rates."

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Hard Work Is The Key To Success

Thank you for voting.
Hard Work Is The Key To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #manager, #self-interest, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What is the key to success? Boss: Hard work! Asok: Is it a coincidence that your advice for me corresponds to your self-interest? Boss: My other advice is never question authority.

Dogbert The Sociopath

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Sociopath - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #apology, #bald, #business ethics, #company lawyer, #discrimination, #lawyers, #nearsighted, #one billion, #short, #statue

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #funerals, #bereavement policy, #days off, #dies young, #grocery shop, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #investor, #financial, #advisor, #timid, #product, #window, #certificate, #deposit, #withdraw, #flying, #debenture, #trade off, #money, #fling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "For the timid investor, I recommend our 'Perpetual Certificates of Deposit.'" The man continues, "They earn the highest possible interest. The only trade-off is that you can never withdraw it." Dilbert asks, "Why don't I just fling my money out a window?" The advisor replies, "Ah, you've heard of our 'Flying Debenture' product?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #reincarnation, #investment, #fund, #invest now, #come back as cow, #fortune in milk, #invest until reincarnate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I call it 'Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund'. You give me your money now and I invest it until you reincarnate. The compound interest will make you rich. Dilbert: What if I come back as a cow? Dogbert: You'll save a fortune in milk.