Interface Poisoning Comic Strips - Page 3
56 Results for Interface Poisoning
View 21 - 30 results for interface poisoning comic strips. Discover the best "Interface Poisoning" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 17, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.
Share April 05, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: You designed our hardware with black buttons on a black case. The user interface will be invisible in normal light. Designer: But more important, it looks great! Dilbert: You don't know what "important" means, do you? Designer: It sounds nerdy. I majored in art.
Share May 14, 2010's comic on:
Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."
Share February 18, 2001's comic on:
THE CALL CENTER: A worker sits in front of a computer wearing a telephone headset. A woman supervisor says to him, "Carl, reduce your average call time or you're history." Dilbert holds a portable telephone in his hand and presses buttons to dial a number to the sound of "Beep beep beep beep." Carl answers the phone angrily, saying, "What?!" Dilbert says into his telephone, "I have a question about your product." Carl yells into the telephone, "Faster! Faster! Faster!" Dilbert says into his telephone, "Um... It's about the interface." Dilbert hears Carl say, "Great. Thanks." There is the sound "click." Carl's supervisor says to him, "Your average call time is way down. You get a bonus." Carl holds his bonus check and thinks to himself, "Maybe it's a mistake to do this job while I study for the priesthood."
Share August 05, 2014's comic on:
Boss: The interface needs to be so simple your mother could use it. Dilbert: My mother taught herself Ruby On Rails over a weekend. Boss: Then imagine someone else's mother. Dilbert: Can I imagine a sexist imbecile?
Share June 12, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I simplified the user interface as you suggested. You wanted one button to do eleven different functions. It wasn't easy, but I think you'll be pleased. If you want me to turn up the volume... you hold the button down for exactly five seconds... then double-tap, and double-tap again. Then hold for exactly six seconds. Then press it all the way down, then halfway up, then 27 percent back down. And hold for nine seconds. Or you could admit that you don't know anything about interface design. Boss: Never!
Share November 24, 2016's comic on:
Boss: How'd your business trip to Elbonia go? Dilbert: Not so good. I got food poisoning and spent two days in a fetal position praying for death. Boss: It must feel good to be back. Dilbert: It's closer to a tie than you'd think.
Share November 01, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.
Share November 04, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.
Share June 17, 2019's comic on:
the boss: did you read my suggestions on the user interface? dilbert: yes, but we'll need a bigger budget if you want to make the user interface so easy that even you can use it. the boss: just make it so the average idiot can use it. dilbert: we did, but we didn't anticipate any below-average idiots.