Irrational Concerns Comic Strips - Page 3
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The Boss says, "Good news, Alice. I'm going to have quarterly performance reviews to boost morale." Alice stands in her cubicle and replies, "Wow! In addition to working sixteen hours a day in this big box, now I'll get 300% more criticism!" The Boss says, "I'll have a chance to hear employee concerns four times a year." Alice says, "I assume comprehension will remain on the bicentennial plan."
Dogbert: Buwhahaha! I'm using A-B testing to manipulate irrational humans! Bend to my will and choose the orange button, you mindless click-puppets! Dilbert: And this is legal? Dogbert: I own you now!
Boss: How many days will it take to finish the tests? Dilbert: Three. Boss: You have two. Dilbert: I can't do it in two days. That's why I said three. Boss: That was before I used my leadership skills to tell you to do it in two days. Dilbert: Leadership doesn't change the laws of physics. The test takes three days. Boss: You have two. Leadership! These test results look incomplete. Dilbert: Just like my soul.
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?
Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.
Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.