Jeff Bezos Rule Comic Strips - Page 3

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46 Results for Jeff Bezos Rule

View 21 - 30 results for jeff bezos rule comic strips. Discover the best "Jeff Bezos Rule" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #corporate vice presdient, #win bet, #action plan, #spend money, #vice president, #annoying rodent

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Remember everything I taught you, Ratbert. If you can pass yourself off as a corporate vice president, I'll win my bet." Ratbert stands on a desk and says to Wally as he walks by, "Yo, Headcount! If you have any issues, put together an action plan. Our people are the best. Don't spend money." Wally asks Alice, "Do you think he's really a vice president?" Alice answers, "Maybe. But I'm not ready to rule out 'annoying rodent' yet." In the background Ratbert says, "Quality."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dating, #intimidation

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Dilbert bends over tying his shoelace. He tells Dogbert, "Maybe I'm unlucky in love because I'm so knowledgeable about science that I intimidate people." Dilbert continues, "Their intimiidation becomes low self-esteem, then they reject me to protect their egos." Dogbert says, "Occam's razor." They walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "What is 'Occam's razor'?" Dogbert answers, "A guy named Occam had a rule about the world." Dogbert continues, "Basically, he said that when there are multiple explanations for something, the simplest explanation is usually correct." They sit down on some rocks. Dogbert continues, "The simplest explanation for your poor love life is that you're immensely unattractive." Dilbert says, "Maybe Occam had another rule that specifically exempted this situation, but his house burned down with all his notes. Then he forgot." Dogbert says, "Occam's razor." Dilbert asks, "I'm an idiot?" Dogbert replies, "I don't think we can rule it out at this point."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #heart and sould, #high speed data, #talent pool, #in charge, #mentor, #panicking

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Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2006's comic on:


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"I plan to build my own country on the ocean using barges." "I shall rule with an iron paw, punishing citizens for no reason other than my own entertainment. Buwhaha!!!" "I'm hoping people will put up with it because their homes are near the ocean."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2006's comic on:


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"'Dogbert's Barge City' is the affordable way to live by the ocean." "Your brochure says you will rule with an iron paw and throw dissidents to the sharks." "Well, I'm in. But this one is getting all dissident on you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2006's comic on:


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"Alice, we're doing some construction and I have to move you to a slightly larger cubicle." "Muwhahaha! I will use the power of my slightly larger cubicle to rule my coworkers with an iron fist!" "Get out of my way, you worthless microcuber!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2007's comic on:


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"Hi, I'm Jeff, the human ashtray." "I like to lean in real close to people so they can enjoy my aroma!" "OW! OW! OW!" "Sounds like someone is getting his ash kicked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2007's comic on:


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Jeff, the human ashtray "Watch out for that hole in the ground!" "That's not a hole. It's just a dark spot on the floor from some of your ash falling there." "Oh." "I can't tell the difference between my ash and a hole in the ground." "Dilbert, did you meet your new boss?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #honesty, #fester, #hatred, #pale doughy body, #tree of knowledge, #falls on head, #die ironically

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Boss: Carol, if you have any issues, just be honest. Don't let anything fester. Carol: I hate every subatomic particle in your pale, doughy body. I hope the tree of knowledge falls on your head so you die ironically. Boss: I need to rethink my no-festering rule. Carol: Tree of knowledge... get it?