Job Refernce Comic Strips - Page 3
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935 Results for Job Refernce
View 21 - 30 results for job refernce comic strips. Discover the best "Job Refernce" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 21,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money
Transcript
Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.
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Monday January 02,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #lobbying, #lobbiest, #bribers, #holiday, #birthdays, #lucrative job, #tax breaks, #company tax breaks, #interview
Transcript
Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.
Friday May 18,
2012
Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive
Transcript
Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.
Sunday June 10,
2012
Tags #better job, #goldilocks zone, #managers, #marinate in own stench, #monster, #skills expire, #technology certifictae, #training, #your training
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.
Thursday June 07,
2012
Tags #boss, #telling how to do job, #priorities, #reports, #email, #suggestions
Transcript
Boss: Stop telling Tina how to do her job. You're not her boss. Dilbert: I was just helping out because her boss has his priorities all backward. Boss: She reports to me. Dilbert: I'll email your boss some suggestions for fixing you.
Tuesday June 12,
2012
Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.
Saturday July 15,
1989
Tags #hair, #job, #growth, #business
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I got a job." Dogbert jumps onto the hassock and says, "I'm the new spokesperson for 'Harry's Hair Growth Solution.'" Dogbert asks, "Mind if I borrow your razor for the 'Before' pictures?"
Monday February 05,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #job, #morning, #amnesia, #waking up, #screaming
Transcript
Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."
Tuesday February 27,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #performance, #job, #pencils, #Right, #office
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I decided to recognize you for your job performance." The Boss continues, "So I named one of my pencils after you." Dilbert says, "Gosh. Is that it right there?" The Boss replies, "No. That's my good pencil."
Monday April 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #job, #sez, #raise, #bench, #outside, #project, #stupid
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert and a man sit on a park bench. The man says, ". . . So then I sez to my boss, 'You can just stuff this stupid project . . .'" The man continues, "Then I sez, 'Let's see YOU do this job.' And I sez, 'I should get a raise.' I gotta go." Dogbert says, "The more they sez 'I sez,' the less likely it is they really said what they sez they said."